The Inappropriate Homeschooler's Guide to Cooking Christmas Dinner

Follow This Guide at Your Own Risk

What Did You Expect?

Step 1: Go buy a turkey (or whatever meat your desire to cook)

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven 

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turk the bastey 

Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer

Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick

Step 14: Turk the carvey 

Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch 

Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays – whichever you prefer!

~Mari B.