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The Art of Inappropriate Homeschooling

By

The Inappropriate Homeschooler

Inappropriate homeschooling is the easiest of all homeschooling methods.   There's really only a few items on the check list of homeschooling inappropriately.

  

1.  Be Authentic. 

 There's only one way to be happy:  Be your authentic self.  That bit of wisdom is not only true for living but for homeschooling as well.  If it isn't 'for you' don't try to make it 'for you'.  Don't worry about trying to teach kids fractions while cooking if you hate to cook.  Don't worry about trying to teach your kids all about plants by planting your own garden if you hate gardening.  Don't worry about following a curriculum if you *hate* following curriculums.  Follow a curriculum if you *love* following a curriculum.  Read all sorts of blog posts and pinterest boards for fabulous ideas on homeschooling if it works for you.  If doing that makes you feel sick to your stomach, don't read them - except this one of course.  The bottom line here is be true to yourself and allow your children to be true to themselves.  Find what works for you and your kids - no matter what it looks like to anyone else - and DO THAT.  If you are pulling your hair out, constantly 'sweating' over homeschooling, or continually feeling like you are failing then you are not being your authentic self and that doesn't work.  Trust me.

2.  Be Honest

The first step to being authentic is be honest.  Be honest with yourself, about yourself and about your kids.  This is hard-core, look yourself in the mirror honesty.  Do you work well with schedules?  Do your kids?  Do you do better with curricula?  Do your kids?  How do you best accomplish goals?  Are the goals you set ones that matter to you?  (Most of us don't accomplish goals that don't either matter to us or pay some dividend so we have to do what works for us).  If you already know that planning that BIG science project and buying all the supplies is as far as you'll get with it - be honest about that and skip it.  There *are* other ways to achieve objectives.  If you want or need your child to learn a foreign language, you don't have to learn it first you just have to find a resource for your child that works for him to learn it.  The same is true for science projects, gardening, and cooking (with fractions).  The more honest you are about who you are and what works for you the easy it is to look at your kids and be honest about what works for them and then find the authentic path that is your family's homeschooling.

The Inappropriate Homeschooler's Top Tips for a Better (More Inappropriate) Homeschooling Experience

 

1. Let go of trying to control everything. 

As parents, we already feel the urge, the need, to control our children's lives.  We want to keep them safe.  We want to keep them healthy.  We want to make sure they have a *great* childhood, a solid foundation, and that they grow up to have a wonderful life!  That urge, that need, can become more than an urge or need though, especially in a homeschooling parent.  We really feel 100% of the responsibility of raising and educating our children because we are.  There is no brightly lit building where we send our children to for 7 hours a day to 'receive' their education.  The decision to homeschool often includes sacrifice.  The sacrifice may be a financial one, an emotional one, or both. It is human nature that when we sacrifice we do so with the hopes that there will be a great return on our investment.  Nothing is more important to a parent than their child/ren.  Despite the fact that we are with our children 24/7, give or take, because we homeschool, does not mean that we can, or should, control everything.  We sweat over every choice we make from the method we are using to school them to the materials we are using to school them.  We worry over their academic and social environment.  We feel completely, totally, utterly responsible for these human beings we are raising, guiding, teaching.  But as adults we have probably already learned in our own lives, in our own daily walk, that the only thing that we can truly control in life is our own attitude and reactions. We have learned, or are in the process of learning that once we accept that, we can be comfortable right where we are, at peace and happy.  The same is true in homeschooling.

My Inappropriate Opinion on "Lazy Homeschoolers"

I've gone over it and over it in my mind - how can *I* write this blog post and be coherent, calm, and rational.  I've finally decided I can not.  Oh, I am still writing, but I am not worried about calm and rational.  I am not even concerning myself with terms like 'fair', 'non-judgmental', and 'tolerant.  Screw it.  I have had more than my fair share of 'judgmental and unfair' thrown my way lately and I'm just going to give in to an old-fashioned rant.

Who the hell do some people think they are?  I read a blog post this week entitled:  "An Open Letter to Lazy Homeschooling Parents".  I read it not because I thought it would apply to me but because when I saw the title I thought surely this would be a fun, satirical read; a blog post that I myself could have written.  Boy, Oh Boy was I wrong!  This woman was serious and she was condescending and insulting.  I'm not linking her blog, I won't promote it that much, but if you are so inclined google the title and read it for yourself.  Feel free to comment on it even, as you are free to comment on my post here.

This woman feels there is a serious enough issue within the homeschooling community that she had a heavy heart and felt called to speak out.  I could give her the benefit of the doubt and say that her heart was in the right place, but I'm not in the mood.  I do not really care what her motivations or intentions were.  I am just going to speak my peace.  Get the hell out of other homeschooling families business.  Just get the hell out.  It does no good to 'call out lazy homeschooling parents' because if there are those that meet your description, trust me, they aren't searching the internet for articles or blog posts that are written about them.  The expression "stupid is as stupid does" comes to mind and so logically it follows that 'lazy is as lazy does' and lazy homeschoolers aren't surfing the internet for your wisdom on the matter. 

One concern listed was our need, as homeschoolers, to produce a superior

product than the public system produces.  Yes, our children apparently are products.  I do believe that is how the public education system sees them.  I will be damned if I will support the idea of the homeschooling community seeing them the same way.  If *you* see your children as a product that is *your* business but get the hell out of my homeschooling experience and home.  Punky is a human being and my goal is for her to grow up happy, healthy, and filled with personal, meaningful purpose.  That is my goal so that she will be an adult who pursues a life that is happy, healthy, and will with personal, meaningful purpose. 

Another point was the concern that our homeschooling rights could be taken from us or more heavily regulated if we don't produce a superior product.  Homeschooling is a right in all 50 States in the USA.  That right is not going to be revoked because the 'community' MIGHT produce a few children who, as that blogger suggested, "enter the workforce without a proper education".  Homeschooling does get blamed, at times, for all sorts of things.  Just recently it was blamed for the death of a child in Ohio.  Ohio proposed much stricter homeschooling regulations and within mere days the homeschooling community put that shit to rest.  Go Ohio Homeschoolers!  Woot!  Woot! (As an aside it was not just the religious homeschoolers who affected the change, but several secular homeschoolers including some from the Inappropriate Homeschoolers homeschooling group).  Homeschooling is not the reason children are abused or neglected, any form of abuse or neglect, anymore than children are the reason they are abused.  Children are abused and neglected because the primary caretakers in their lives are mentally screwed up.  Looking to homeschooling as the problem is absurd.  If public schooling was the answer to child abuse then there wouldn't be more than 3 million reports involving 6 million children in the USA each year, with approximately 4 deaths PER DAY.  Why do I say that?  Simple math.  The majority of students who are school age are public schooled.  That means that they enter the halls of a public institution five days a week for 36 weeks and yet.....child abuse is an ongoing and escalating problem.

Now let's turn to the recent statistics of college graduate.  A 2011 NY Times article reported 22.4 percent of college graduates cannot find jobs and another 22 percent are working jobs that don't require a college degree.  Oh, on top of that, the average graduate is roughly $25,000 in debt upon graduating.  That means that almost half of all college graduates are not benefiting by being a 'superior product'.  After all, college is *the* way to became a superior product, for the majority of mindsets, right?.  My point?  Getting into college and graduating is no longer a guarantee that one will have a successful, well-paying job.  Now, more than ever, students need to find a way to acquire the skills they need to pursue their career goals.  Yes, that may mean going to medical school, but it can also mean schooling in the real world by hacking their education.  So, producing 'superior product', as was described by the blogger attacking lazy homeschoolers, is not only insulting but an outdated definition of success.

It was pointed out that spending the day at the park, doing arts and crafts, doing household chores, or spending time with friends is NOT homeschooling, in fact she called it 'cheating'.  I wonder at what age she has determined one needs to turn away from parks, arts, and social activities in order to be properly educated?  Oh sure, she means those that ONLY do that.  So at what age is it okay to do that ONLY and what age does it become wrong?  My answer would be, that's your fucking business not hers.

She says it is our business because there are high schools who are requiring their drop outs to register as homeschoolers in order to make 'themselves look better'.  I know that state laws vary, but  sixteen is the eligible age in most states to drop out and I'd say that if one wishes to leave high school and register as a homeschooler, so be it.  I'm not overtly concerned with a statistic that shows a child failing in public school for 16 years and then leaving to homeschool.  That doesn't make me want to 'tiger mom' my daughter's education any more than the uber-homeschoolers make me want to do it.  I know very strict, traditional homeschoolers and I know a few who believe in religious education first and foremost over anything else.  Neither works for my family.  I do not even agree with one of those options, but I am damned sure not going to say that if we do not force those families who educated and involve themselves differently than we do in our children's lives we have the right to call them out for it.  Beat your kid up, neglect your kid, starve your kid, sexual assault your kid.....there are laws in effect to handle that.  Educate your child in the manner you feels is best for your child, yeah, that is not going to raise any warning bells, be they homeschooled or public schooled.

She called 'lazy homeschoolers' cheaters.  She said they were not homeschoolers but merely truant.  Who decides what is lazy homeschooling?  When I was first thinking of creating a blog I gave serious thought to calling it 1) The Lazy Homeschooler or 2) The Unmotivated Homeschooler or 3) The Inappropriate Homeschooler.  We all know where I landed.  Inappropriate could include lazy and unmotivated as well as covering my ass for my sarcastic, obnoxious opinions, so I went with that.   I think this woman needs to butt the hell out of other folks homeschooling and I think folks like her are more of a problem for the 'face of homeschooling' than any 'lazy homeschooler' could ever be.  Why?  She's creating a problem where one doesn't really exist.  If there are those who are spending their days eating bon-bons and watching Doctor Who with their kids as their only activity what the hell do I care?  If their children grow up to be 'less' than successful - you know who she means - all those laborers who aren't college graduates who merely pick up our trash, deliver our packages, fix our cars, transport our goods and services, install our cable, build our homes, etc, then so be it.  I, for one, am glad there are those in the world who are working to pick up our trash, deliver our packages, fix our cars, clean up our public buildings, and so on.

Basically, I just want to tell this woman to shut the hell up, mind her own freakin' business, and worry about her own children (the ones she later admits she uses ipads and television as a distraction and babysitter for her kids).  Hey, I say that without ANY judgment, but I bet there is someone out there that would tell her how wrong that is to do to her kids.  We are all pots waiting to meet our kettles.  Seriously.  Everyone just stop telling everyone else how to do what they do.  As long as a person's choice isn't starting a war, ending a life, or denying someone their liberties......back the fuck off.  I blame insecurities for this shit.  It was the same way in the mom's groups when the children were littles.  And so it is in the homeschooling community, insecure women who are not nearly as confident with their choices as they'd like to be having to get all high and mighty telling others what choices to make and how to homeschool.  That's part of the reason homeschoolers do not feel as supported as they should be......other homeschoolers.  It's not only the naysayers of homeschooling, but those within the community themselves deciding that their choices must be the only right choices and so everyone must follow their example, that create discord.

Perhaps I am wrong, after all she has a Ph.D. and I merely a Master's.  So, clearly she is more successful than I.  I will say this in closing, if I wanted to follow the mainstream example for child-rearing and education today, my child would be in public school and she'd be wearing a tank top with pants that say 'Sweet' across her ass.  Ok?  So, back the hell out of my business and everyone else's business.  Put down your blog pen, go turn off the television, and spend some damn quality time with your kids.  That's not a judgment, merely a suggestion, because I do not really give a shit what you do.

~Mari B.

Use Your Words.........Adjectives Specifically

Everyone is offended today by something or someone.  Some folks are easily offended.  Some folks seem to live for the moment when they can say, ‘I’m offended’.  Offend is a verb.  We use it as an adjective to describe our state being.  It’s gotten a bit out of control, in my opinion.   Things can be offensive, of course.  One can be offended by offensive things, true.  As a society we use this word ad nauseam.  Someone is offended by something every moment of the day, or so it seems.  The internet makes child’s play out of offending or being offended.  It’s so easy to offend someone a monkey in a derby hat can do it.

I have recently witnessed or read a few items that really seemed to bring this point home for me.  First, there was a post from an anti-gun person toward a pro-gun person that said the pro-gun person was an idiot to be in support of gun ownership and should go kill himself.  Oddly enough, it wasn’t the pro-gun person who was offended.  The anti-gun person was offended by the pro-gun person’s views and that was his final response.  Am I alone in thinking that that is taking ‘being offended’ a bit too far?  Next, there was a bit of commentary on my Inappropriate Homeschoolers facebook page telling me that my language was offensive, that I was ‘too’ inappropriate.  Third, I read an article posted by a friend, concerning a waiter who refused to serve a group of people who had made a request to be seated elsewhere and remarking to him, about another family in the restaurant, how special needs kids should be put in a special place rather than out in the crowds.  Don’t get me wrong, I applaud that waiter.  But what was said in the article?  “The waiter promptly told them he was offended by their comment and refused to serve them.”

Everything is topsy-turvy, to me.  People are offended, to the degree of violence at times, by other people’s opinions and words.  The spectrum of ‘offense’ is so large now.  People are offended by something that is said or posted that is meant to be humorous and, in and of itself, causes no REAL harm.  People are offended by the insensitive, ignorant, reprehensible words and actions of others.  The word has been used to the point that it has lost real meaning, if you ask me. 

Shouldn’t we should reserve our offense for the real crimes and evils of this world.  Child molestation, child pornography, abuse and neglect, those are examples of things we as a society should find offensive.  But, what does it do to be offended?  What resolution ever really comes out of being offended?  And furthermore, by saying, “I’m offended,” “You offended me”, “That is offensive,” it makes “YOU” the center of the issue and WE shouldn’t be.  We should be making the PROBLEM, if there is one, the center of the issue.

People need to get over themselves, myself included.  Too much offends, too easily, the masses these days - cursing offends, twisted humor offends, and differing viewpoints offend.  To those that are offended by things that fall into these categories I say, get over yourself and stop running around shouting ‘I’m offended’.  If cursing offends you, DO something about it – turn off the radio, TV, internet, etc and walk away from it.  Participating in anything where you know they’ll be humor, ‘bad’ language, differing viewpoints, or sarcasm and being ‘offended’ is asinine.  People are too quick to label.  Let’s say you refer to yourself as a conservative and someone, who doesn’t share your conservative view on an issue, says something that ‘offends your conservative heart’ – automatically the come back is an insult against ‘freakin’ liberals’.  I’m so sick of seeing that!  BOTH sides do it.  And by ‘sides’ I mean whatever the topic is where two people disagree – homeschooling, parenting, politics, religion – it matters not.  And the fact is, it is true on both sides because PEOPLE are on both sides.  People can be assholes, regardless of the concepts they embrace!

So what’s the solution?  We need to learn to let a lot more ‘junk’ roll off our backs.  Someone on the internet telling you they think that guns should be banned when you are a staunch supporter of 2^nd Amendment Rights does not affect your position on the issue, right?  Right.  So why would firing back all sorts of outraged drivel at what they said change their position?  It wouldn’t.  It doesn’t.  It is a waste of time and energy.  If you are a staunch supporter of this or that – take whatever appropriate actions you can to support the cause – vote, sign petitions, demonstrate even – but let the words of others that don’t actually affect you go.  Now, what if someone says something, in person – as in the case of the waiter and the family?  I propose we direct our ‘offendedness’ at the issue, not the person and instead of making it about how *I* am offend we use our words, our adjectives specifically, to describe the problem.  For example, someone makes a remark that special needs children should be ‘put in a special place’.  Look that person in the eye and say, “I want to understand you.  Are you saying that special needs children shouldn’t be allowed to dine with the general public in a restaurant?”  Wait for a response.  If the response is, “Yes, that’s what I’m saying” then one could say, “Your remarks are rude, insensitive, and very inappropriate.  I will not serve you as a result of your crass bigotry.”

There are wrongs in the world.  Bigotry, abuse, injustices exist and for those individuals that perpetuate those wrongs, we as a society, need to take a stand.  Saying, “I’m offended” doesn’t take a stand.  It doesn’t address the real problem.  There are a  plethora of adjectives we can use to describe an action, thought, idea, or attitude that do not include the word ‘offended’.  Words like rude, insensitive, inappropriate are adjectives we can use to describe someone’s actions or words.

There’s a lot more too…

abhorrent, abusive, annoying, awful, biting, closed-minded, crass, cutting, detestable, disagreeable, discourteous, distasteful, disturbing, dreadful, embarrassing, evil, foul, ghastly, grisly, gross, hideous, horrible, horrid, ignorant, impertinent, insolent, invidious, irritating, nauseating, objectionable, obnoxious, odious, off-color,  opprobrious, outrageous, repellent, reprehensible, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, rotten, rude, shocking, stinking, terrible, uncivil, unmannerly

…to name but a few!

So, for the times we can’t ‘let it go’, or shouldn’t let it go, let us use our words and take ourselves out of the equation by pointing out the real problem rather than focusing on how we are offended.  

~Mari B.

This Works!

Responding to the Responses.....

Responding to Responses from ‘Open Letter to Christian Homeschool Groups’

While not my most popular blog post, ‘An Open Letter to Christian Homeschool Groups’ garnered the most comments of any blog post I have written, both on the blog and on my facebook page.  The vast majority of the comments were positive or neutral.  I did however receive a few responses, a couple via private message, that are now fodder for another blog post.

1)  In defense of Christians, they homeschool because of their religion – they want to be separate from the secular world (and people) otherwise they would send their children to public school.  That is why they don’t allow non-Christians into their homeschooling groups.

I originally had a long response to this.  After careful thought however, I only have this to say:  That’s not what it means to be a Christian, as I understood it when I was a Christian; but that is the way to be a bigot.  It is one thing to avoid having your children taught evolution in public school or that there is no God.  It is an entirely different thing to avoid having your children meet, talk with, and learn to deal with people who believe differently than they (or you) do.

2)  Secular groups can be as judgmental and unwelcoming as Christian groups.

This is the harder point, because it is true and so sad.  The bottom line is that people are difficult.  Yes, all of us.  Women can be especially catty and mean – we should have been forced to play team sports in school where we would have learned that you don’t have to like a person to work with them and get the job done.

I say shame on the Secular groups who are judgmental and sanctimonious with their beliefs for they are acting just like the religious groups they bitch about.  I’ve been informed that there are secular groups who judge you based on what curriculum you use, whether you breastfed, buy organic, and all other sorts of nonsense.  Yes, nonsense.  When will we wake up and realize that we are not the brand we wear, the products we buy, or even the choices we made.  Good people can make bad choices.  More importantly good people make different choices that mine or yours and that should be fine!  Women need to get the hell over themselves.  Stop feeling so insecure and shaky inside about who you are that you need to nit-pick and judge every other woman’s choices.

We want to feel secure that our choices are the right choices.  We look outside ourselves for that security.  Meeting people who made the same choices we made makes us feel good, right, and secure.  Meeting people who made different choices than we did makes us uncomfortable, scared, and insecure.  Now whose fault is that?  It certainly isn’t the other person for making a different choice from ours.

Hating anyone for a difference is the worst thing any human being can do.  There isn’t a ‘right’ side in hate.  It is hate and hate begins with judgment.  It is our ego that is controlling our minds allowing us to build a case of ‘differences’ against another person so we can feel better about ourselves and so we can feel justified for shunning them, or worse.  So, to any secular homeschooling group that is unwelcoming of homeschoolers whose choice of how they school, what they use to school, how they dress, what they feed their children, what charities they donate to, what their political position is, etc…is different than theirs I say the same thing:  Shame on you!  We are all homeschoolers and the world our children will enter one day will be filled with DIFFERENCES.   

We all have two, and only two, choices.  Either we teach our children to work with and respect differences or teach them to be bigoted asstwats.

3)  I don’t take anything you say seriously.  *Your just an idiot with a blog.

*The grammatical error was theirs, not mine.

Yeah, uh…this one I don’t really have a response except to ask, “Why do you read my blog then?”  Of course, I suppose I could take the low ground and respond with, “And clearly you’re just an idiot with internet,” but that would be inappropriate.

~Mari B.

An Open Letter to All Christian Homeschool Groups

I was reading a thread in a Secular homeschool group on facebook that was discussing how difficult it can be to find active, live, groups to participate in that are secular depending on where you live.  I can relate to that.  I’ve been homeschooling for just over 3 years now and I only found the secular group we are now a part of about 9 months ago --- when it was started.  Prior to that we were a part of an ‘Inclusive’ group that fell apart and then another group that was to be inclusive that I actually helped organize, that fell apart.  I secretly believe that ‘inclusive’ , where I live, doesn’t meant what I think it means! The majority of the participants where Christian and those that weren't never felt comfortable.  But that’s a different blog post.

On this thread that I was reading, a fellow secular homeschooler was sharing her story about how after a year….A YEAR…of participating in a home school group where religion had never come up, she received a ‘get the hell out’ letter right before Christmas.  She had been ‘found out’, I suppose.

Now, I do not know all the details, nor did I ask.  Maybe she had to sign a statement of faith upon joining and did so, just to get in, and was then found to be a ‘liar’.  Maybe she had a change of heart about her personal, religious beliefs during the course of the year and made mention of it and was then kicked out.  Maybe the group was not militant in making the particulars of its beliefs known because they never imagined someone joining who wasn’t a Christian and when they discovered that was the case they freaked the hell out.  Who knows.  It doesn’t matter.  This isn’t the first type of story like this that I’ve read or been told or better yet, experienced myself.  But this sort of non-Christian behavior by supposed Christians always ticks me off and it suddenly dawned on me, I have a blog!  I can use that to get my message out, granted to all of probably 5 of you who read it...

________________________________________________________________________

Here is my open letter to all Christian Homeschool Groups:

I just don’t understand why you make the choices you do.  I certainly don’t understand your treatment of non-believers.  I’m appalled at your treatment of fellow homeschoolers who don’t meet your criterion.

If you are a Christian group, with a clear ‘Statement of Beliefs’ and someone wants to join who is not of the same beliefs there are only TWO reasons why they would want to join. 

1)  They are trying to subvert your children and lead them to the devil.

2)  They are homeschoolers who need a nice, welcoming, friendly group of women and children with whom to socialize and to discuss homeschooling. 

Why is it assumed that reason #1 is factual with every person who isn’t a believer?  Why does your statement of faith have to be every members’ statement of faith?  Why isn’t it enough for a member to acknowledge that those are the beliefs of that group (or co-op) and no other beliefs expressed (or taught) are welcome?  And do you know why I wonder all this?  Because anyone who wishes to join your group, even though they don’t hold the same beliefs as you, has to be so desperate for homeschooling contacts and support that they are willing to shut their own mouths and keep their beliefs to themselves just to make those contacts and hopefully find that support!!!

If, by some chance, you have some horror story you’d like to share with me about how some evil woman, who was an atheist, I’m sure, tried to join your Christian group in order to turn all the children into godless lovers of gays – spare me.  *IF* someone joined a group for that kind of reason, it wouldn’t take long to figure it out and kick them out.  If you or your children are so shaky in what you believe and why, that one person can crumble your world with opposing views ----- or even evil rhetoric ----- you’ve got bigger problems than you realize.

At the end of the day we are all homeschoolers, be we religious or secular, traditional schooling or unschooling, we are in the category of ‘out of the box’ for our choice in how we are educating our children.  Can that and that alone not be enough to ban us together and support one another?  I say it should be enough……but alas, I must be in the minority.  Perhaps it is because I’m not a participant in the religious movement known as Christianity that I simply cannot understand why a CHRISTian group would kick out someone who had caused no problems for them, and right before the CHRISTmas holiday, no less.

Ah, but wait.  I was once a believer.  I was  (am – according to those who believe in the ‘once saved, always saved’ doctrine) a ‘born-again, baptized by water and with the Holy Spirit’ card carrying, church attending, bible studying Christian.  Guess what?  The Jesus I met, whom I met the same way all Christian do, – through the ‘Word of God’ – didn’t teach us to hate the unbeliever, shun the unbeliever, or kick the unbeliever out.  He instructed us to love one another as He loves us.  He didn’t just instruct us, he commanded us!  All his lessons point to acts of charity – love.  He wanted our lights to shine from inside us and light the path for the world. 

So for the love of your God, act like the man you claim to follow.  And if you MUST be an exclusive group that allows or welcomes no one but Christians, make sure you are upfront about that- don’t’ hide behind rhetoric or the mumble jumble of a statement of beliefs.  Be honest.  Just say it, flat out – if you aren’t a Christian you are NOT welcome.  But, if you are the only homeschooling group in your community, how about thinking about doing the Christian thing and opening yourself up to ‘outsiders’.  Consider it mission work.  The church has no problem dangling food, water, clothes, shelter, etc…..in front of third world communities in exchange for them listening to the word of God – if a non-believer would like to make friends and get homeschooling support from your group, why not let them in?  Be a decent human being, and a loving follower of Christ.  Love them where THEY are, not where YOU are; after all isn’t that what Jesus does for us?  If he only loved us from where he is….we’d all be doomed, right?  Besides, trust me, most, if not all secular homeschoolers would rather bowl alone than join a Christian homeschool group and do you know why?  The majority of Christian groups don’t seem to understand the concepts of acceptance, brotherly love, and kindness.  How sad is that?  It’s a good thing that the Apostles didn’t have that sort of attitude, or the Word would have never spread and your religion wouldn’t exist today. 

Thank you.

The Inappropriate Homeschooler

________________________________________________________________________

Did that seem hostile?  Did I sound pissed?  Do I sound disgusted?  Well, I am.  I am sick and tired of Christians getting away with making people cry, treating people like shit, or even worse because THEY are Christians who are in the ‘right’ belief.  I have Catholic friends and Mormon friends who are just as uncomfortable inside these ‘Christian’ homeschooling groups because they aren’t the ‘right’ type of Christian or not consider to really be a Christian.  Sheesh!  The judging that goes on………stones cast all over the place!

I’ve forgotten more than a lot of Christians will ever have studied for themselves, of that I’m sure.  I rejected the man-made doctrines attached to the religious Christian movement.  I was kicked out of Christian groups for no longer being a Trinitarian and later, was not welcomed because my idea of what it meant to follow Jesus was not the ‘main-stream’ movement’s idea.  Hence, a secular homeschooler was born!

I don’t blog about that in order to get a flood of emails or comments from Christians who want to get into religious debates with me.  I blog about this because it is something that still lights a fire under my ass.  Christians being jerks to each other, people of different beliefs, or unbelievers.  It just isn’t Christ like and for the love of everything Holy, they should live up to the name they have claimed for themselves.

Did these folks in these groups ever stop and think about how it is the sinners that should be most welcomed?  That it is the unbelievers that they should want to shine their inner light upon?  That the only Jesus some people ever see is the one that is supposedly living inside them??  Did these folks ever stop and think about what kind of ‘testimony’ their actions and words give to the ‘unbeliever’? 

Those types of actions speak to

1) a lack of true, deep faith in their own expressed beliefs;

2) an unwilling spirit toward being used in another person’s life for God’s purpose, and

3) an arrogance that THEY can bring (or not) someone to God, rather than having faith that God takes care of his Creation and all they need to be worried about doing is……

What was it again? 

Oh right, loving one another – including the ‘supposed’ enemy.  Jesus was concerned for the spiritual condition of the unbeliever.  He had a compassionate purpose toward tending to their well being.  He demonstrated this by meeting them where they lived, feeding them, teaching them, healing them.  He never once turned his back on them because they didn’t believe.  So shame on the Christian religious movement for thinking they know better, or are better, than Jesus – the man they say is their King and Savior.

Time and again I’m brought back to Ghandi’s quote:  “I like your Christ, I don’t care very much for your Christians.”

So often, I agree.

~Mari B.

Inappropriate Humor......

Made Me Laugh!

It's inappropriate!

I posted it to my blog instead of my facebook page..............

for obvious reason.

For those that get the joke and find it funny.....you're welcome! 

~Mari B.

Nostalgia....

Countdown....

A Fresh Start...

Inappropriate Friday Funny

I've always wondered......

~Mari B.

Inappropriate Reasons to Love Home Schooling

While it is not as true as I’m sure it once was (kudos again to the pioneers of home schooling), home schoolers still find themselves defending their choice.  There are probably some U.S. states where the need to defend home schooling is more necessary than other states and I’m ignorant as to what the climate is toward home schooling in other countries.  Unless it’s a country, like China, where home schooling is illegal, I have no idea how accepted home schooling is in other cultures and countries.

 

Because home schoolers still feel the need to defend their choice, if even only to the “concerned’ mother in-law or family friend, we can be a little tight lipped about the challenges of home schooling, for fear that those challenges would be used against us.  Even more than that though, home schoolers, for the most part, don’t talk too ‘openly’ about the *real* benefits of home schooling.  Oh, amongst each other, we may chat a bit about it, in very subtle ways, least there is a militant home schooling mother in the group who finds anything short of 6 ½ hours a day of rigorous study to be criminal.  But out in the wide open, say like a blog, the benefits of home schooling are listed in very clean, sanitized ways.  I haven’t seen a lot of chatter about some of the *real* benefits of home schooling. 

Now, in all fairness, it might just be me.  I may be the only one in the home schooling universe who has these *real* benefits or who will admit to them in a non-sanitized, inappropriate way.  But I am the inappropriate home schooler.  Perhaps you (yes, you who is reading this post) experience a few of these *real* benefits of home schooling, that you mention to no one, or yours are different than my list – but would still be thought inappropriate!  But I think we all have these secrets that we fear to reveal least we be judged, if not by ‘outsiders’ then by others in the home schooling community.  

 First, the ‘Code’.

These are some common reasons listed as the benefits of home schooling.

1) A quality education

2) Going on vacation for educational pursuits…

3) Turning anything into a ‘lesson’…

4) Creating our own schedule...

5) Freedom to explore personal interests…

6) Real life experience

7) Personal choices in establishing and continuing real friendships

 

These may reveal me to be a bad parent, let alone a bad home schooler, but here is my interpretation of the benefits of home schooling.  The list of the real (inappropriate) things that I love about being a home schooling family!

 A vacation to Walt Disney World is an educational field trip!

Cartoons are educational if I’m trying to have a phone conversation…

Sleeping in ‘til noon…

 Breakfast at lunch time.

 Playing the games of ‘Life’ for the entire day…

 Watching old movies to study ‘time periods’.  The 1950s was a LONG time ago to Punky!

 Following a whim - like eating lunch out then spending the rest of the day wandering through Barnes n Noble.

 Skipping all the parts of Science and Social Studies that are boring...

Working a grade (or two) below level because it’s easier sometimes...

Not having to deal with little shit-head classmates...

That’s just us though……and you know, we’re inappropriate!

Happy Schooling!

~Mari B.