If I could go back thirteen years, to when I was pregnant with Punky, I would tell myself these things.
1. The less you strive to get her to submit to you, the more influence you will have in her life.
2. The less you talk, the more she will listen.
3. For every criticism she needs to hear at least 10 praises.
4. Most of the fights you will have will be because of your baggage, not her misbehavior.
5. When she's little and you don't manage her environment and she melts down, that's on you.
6. In terms of learning, trust that she will learn what she needs to learn when she needs to learn it; you can't force a child to absorb knowledge.
7. Put away the curriculum. Really.
8. Trust that she will show you what she needs, it's your job to pay attention.
9. Spend more time playing with her.
10. Go on more walks.
11. Spend time with her while you cook and clean. She will want your time.
12. Give more of yourself to that which really matters.
13. Slow down and be less busy.
14. Criticize less. She will absorb every word of it.
15. Remember it will be better to be silent than speak in anger or impatience.
16. Her relationship with you is what keeps her safe. Don't mess it up by demanding she bends to your will.
16. She will learn what she lives.
17. Respect that she is a person, unto herself, and she deserves respect.
I wonder if I would have been too bull-headed to listen.