Monday, November 12, 2012

10 Things Said to Me as a Homeschooling Parent...

That I’d Rather Not Hear…..

All homeschoolers, everywhere, have experienced the person who makes a comment or asks a question that we find annoying.  I can only imagine what the real pioneers of homeschooling had to put up with!  This is my list of ten things, said in the form of a question or in the form of a statement, that are meant to demean or insult.  Of course, my list may be a little different because I’m The Inappropriate Homeschooler! 

Either way, I’d rather not have to deal with it, but such is life.  If someone is asking with sincere interest (not concern, but interest), I provide honest, straight answers – no matter how ridiculous I think the question is.  But, yes, I do give smart ass answers, when the person asking is clearly doing so just for the sake of being rude, demeaning, or putting me (or worse, Punky) on the spot.  The way I see it, an inappropriate question deserves an inappropriate answer!  So here’s the list along with my ‘common’ responses.

The first is the most obvious….

1)  What about socialization?
I’m not going to go into this again too deeply…..I already blogged about it.  I’ll just say my standard answer is:

“She’s very social, which is one thing and she is being socialized, which is something entirely different, by us, her parents, because we’ve seen the village and we don’t want it raising our child.”

2)  Don’t you worry that she is too isolated, being an only child? 
“Since we let her out of her cage twice a day to roam the streets, we don’t worry too much about that.”

(Usually followed by):

3)  Does she have friends?
“Not at all.  No one.  But, she has me, what more does she need?”

4)  Is she gifted (or) special needs?
“No, she’s average; the first of her kind, actually, to be homeschooled.  We are pioneers.”

5)  Do you worry about her being on grade level?
“Nope, the way I see it, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.  Hope to see your kids at the finish line!”

6)   You homeschool?  But you’re not religious!
“I know!  It’s weird, right?  But that’s what the voices told me to do.”

7)  I’m surprised you would homeschool; I know how much you value education.
“You clearly misunderstood me.  I value learning.  That is why we homeschool, so learning will actually happen.”

8)  I don’t know how you can be with your child all day long, all the time.  That would drive me nuts!
This one is where I just stare at them with a partial hopeful, partial sad look waiting for them to hear what they just said to me.  If the light never comes on I merely shrug and walk away.

9) So what do you do all day?
Oh, it’s so easy.  It’s just like being a housewife.  You sit around in your PJs, eating Bon-Bons, and watching Oprah – except, well you know, my kid does it with me now.”

10)  The piece de la resistance is when they TURN TO PUNKY and begin to question her as if she’s entered a game show contest.

 Have you studied the Civil War yet?
Have you learned division?
Do you know the Presidents?
Can you name elements from the Periodic Table?
Can you recite your Multiplication Facts?
Can you spell Mississippi?
I step in before Punky has the chance to form an answer!
My statement to the person that does this to her is this:

“Sorry, Punky only performs on the last Friday of the month when there’s a blue moon and tickets are usually $20 per person”.

So, there you have it!  My list of 10.  I’m sure every homeschooling parent has their list.  Some of our items might be the same, some would certainly be different.
If you like any of my responses, and you feel like being inappropriate, feel free to use them as your own!

~Mari B.


  1. Every post I read reminds me why I follow you. When I see I have not checked my reader in a few days, your's is usually the first read. You crack me up and make me feel at ease about homeschooling an only child. It's amazing how little it is written about. So thank you. Also; bravo for #s 2 & 8!!!!! Keep it up.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Marci! It feels so nice to know that my posts make you laugh! You've also inspired me for another blog topic: Homeschooling the Only Child - and Inappropriate Approach!

      Coming soon to this blog!

  2. Oh, this is awesome. Love it, and love that I found your blog. "Sorry, [x] only performs on the last Friday of the month when there’s a blue moon and tickets are usually $20 per person" is going into my arsenal.

  3. I love it when we are out during a "school day" and random people ask me or my children why they aren't in school. I have one of two answers:

    -For the same reason that you aren't at work today.
    - We don't believe in educating our children. We believe that ignorance is bliss.

    I have said that same line about eating bon-bons in my pjs for years. What does that line come from?

    1. Hey!
      To the best of my knowledge, and I may be wrong, it was Peggy Bundy who was the character from Married with Children that sat on the sofa (not in PJs though) as a stay at home wife and mother who spent her day watching T.V. and eating Bon-Bons. If there was one before her I'm not aware of who it is. I *think* the expression was coined from that.

      Happy Holidays!

  4. I love it!!!! These are great! I love reading your blog. Down to earth reality :)

  5. "Sorry, Punky only performs on the last Friday of the month when there’s a blue moon and tickets are usually $20 per person”."

    I'm totally giving my teens permission to pull this gem out at family gatherings. Their grandparents & my SIL have been asking EVERY time we get together "So, what are you learning? What lessons do you do? Math? History? Literature?" I've been vaguely saying "Oh, we use the compture a lot . . ." When the truth is, we totally and utterly unschool. They learn the crap whatever they want. The fact that they are 12 and 14 and can converse like 25-year-olds seems to go right over the IL's heads.

  6. "I don't know how you can be with your child all day..." I sadly hear that one the most often :(. I feel so sorry for their children. My oldest was quizzed by another homeschooler because she disagreed with my much more relaxed style. She brought up a physics quiz on her computer and started firing away. He answered every question correctly because he loved devouring physic books Lol. I loved every minute of watching that woman's face :)!

  7. Love these. Pardon me while I steal some of them as needed....
    The one that REALLY drives me nuts is when they start to quiz my kid.

  8. Love, love this post! I just came across your blog and now I will be making it a regular read ;)
    ~> I think most homeschooler's have been through your top 10, with a few more to boot.
    The one that you included in your top 10, that gets me the most, is when a mom says that they could not handle being with their kids all day?!
    What is worse, imo, is when a NEW "homeschool" mom says that they are accidental homeschooler's, who do not know how they are going to handle being around their children all day???!!!
    It truly makes me sad for their children :(
    Another one that irks me, is when people hear that I use a Secular curriculum (Time4Learning) and say, I thought people homeschooled for religious reasons? LOL! I am just like, WOW! I mean seriously?

    Again, Love your Blog :)

  9. A couple of good books on the importance of parent-teen bonding. What he wrote really shocked me. Youth groups and other social groups practically kick the parents out. I think there needs to be a transition


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