10 Things Said to Me as a Homeschooling Parent...

That I’d Rather Not Hear…..

All homeschoolers, everywhere, have experienced the person who makes a comment or asks a question that we find annoying.  I can only imagine what the real pioneers of homeschooling had to put up with!  This is my list of ten things, said in the form of a question or in the form of a statement, that are meant to demean or insult.  Of course, my list may be a little different because I’m The Inappropriate Homeschooler! 

Either way, I’d rather not have to deal with it, but such is life.  If someone is asking with sincere interest (not concern, but interest), I provide honest, straight answers – no matter how ridiculous I think the question is.  But, yes, I do give smart ass answers, when the person asking is clearly doing so just for the sake of being rude, demeaning, or putting me (or worse, Punky) on the spot.  The way I see it, an inappropriate question deserves an inappropriate answer!  So here’s the list along with my ‘common’ responses.

The first is the most obvious….

1)  What about socialization?

I’m not going to go into this again too deeply…..I already blogged about it.  I’ll just say my standard answer is:

“She’s very social, which is one thing and she is being socialized, which is something entirely different, by us, her parents, because we’ve seen the village and we don’t want it raising our child.”

2)  Don’t you worry that she is too isolated, being an only child? 

“Since we let her out of her cage twice a day to roam the streets, we don’t worry too much about that.”

(Usually followed by):

3)  Does she have friends?

“Not at all.  No one.  But, she has me, what more does she need?”

4)  Is she gifted (or) special needs?

“No, she’s average; the first of her kind, actually, to be homeschooled.  We are pioneers.”

5)  Do you worry about her being on grade level?

“Nope, the way I see it, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.  Hope to see your kids at the finish line!”

6)   You homeschool?  But you’re not religious!

“I know!  It’s weird, right?  But that’s what the voices told me to do.”

7)  I’m surprised you would homeschool; I know how much you value education.

“You clearly misunderstood me.  I value learning.  That is why we homeschool, so learning will actually happen.”

8)  I don’t know how you can be with your child all day long, all the time.  That would drive me nuts!

This one is where I just stare at them with a partial hopeful, partial sad look waiting for them to hear what they just said to me.  If the light never comes on I merely shrug and walk away.

9) So what do you do all day?

“Oh, it’s so easy.  It’s just like being a housewife.  You sit around in your PJs, eating Bon-Bons, and watching Oprah – except, well you know, my kid does it with me now.”

10)  The piece de la resistance is when they TURN TO PUNKY and begin to question her as if she’s entered a game show contest.

 Have you studied the Civil War yet?

Have you learned division?

Do you know the Presidents?

Can you name elements from the Periodic Table?

Can you recite your Multiplication Facts?

Can you spell Mississippi?

Etc…

I step in before Punky has the chance to form an answer!

My statement to the person that does this to her is this:

“Sorry, Punky only performs on the last Friday of the month when there’s a blue moon and tickets are usually $20 per person”.

So, there you have it!  My list of 10.  I’m sure every homeschooling parent has their list.  Some of our items might be the same, some would certainly be different.

If you like any of my responses, and you feel like being inappropriate, feel free to use them as your own!

~Mari B.