Life & Experience Based Learning

 It's been a coon's age (living in the south has its effects) since I blogged.  Truthfully I'm not sure how long a coon's age is, I'll have to google that, but I know it's been months.   The time since we started 7th grade when I posted our new school year beginning and now A LOT has happened in our lives.  A LOT.  First, I was eating, sleeping, breathing, and quite honestly, shitting all things conference related.  THAT was it.  Well, that and still trying to homeschool and keep the IH facebook page and support group going.  I can't say for certain, and I don't want to check, in case I'm right, but I *think* my husband mumbled something about divorcing me if my schedule stayed the way it was for much longer.  I always said that on September 10th I would be doing NOTHING, as a well-deserved rest from all things N.A.S.H. and the conference.  What I didn't know was that 'rest' I needed required more than one day and did in fact last for longer than a week and then before I knew it, it was birthdays, Halloween, and the most major flare-up of my fibromyalgia I have ever experienced.

In the midst of all that, my father fell off a ladder - he's 83 - and had a concussion.  Then, my husband had eye surgery and then knee surgery.  Then my father fell again and shattered his femur and he's still a patient at the rehab center.  My best friend's (of 29 years) mother had a major stroke at the same time and is still in rehab and is not doing as well as we hoped.  Meanwhile my flare-up continued and continued.......most days we homeschooled from my bed and we only covered the 'necessary'.

So, that catches you up on what has been going on in our lives for the last three months and what kept me from blogging.  I'm feeling somewhat better and I actually have something to talk about that *may* be of interest, so here I am again.  With all that life continues to throw at us, often times Punky finishes her daily assignments - grammar lesson, vocabulary lesson, and math lesson - and is left asking what she should do next.  In an effort to give her the direction and suggestions she needs, yet still allow her choices in how she spends her time, I had been pondering a new method for our homeschooling experience.  As it was, so much of our days were filled with *real* life, real experiences, that it felt like any learning she was doing was coming from those real life experiences. 

What I Would Have Told Myself 13 Years Ago

If I could go back thirteen years, to when I was pregnant with Punky, I would tell myself these things.

1. The less you strive to get her to submit to you, the more influence you will have in her life.

2. The less you talk, the more she will listen.

The Humanist Ten Commandments for the Modern Age

1) You should strive to promote the greater good of humanity before all selfish desires.

2) You should be curious, for asking questions is the only way to find answers.

3) Harm to your fellow human is harm to humanity. Therefore, you should not kill, rape, rob, or otherwise victimize anyone.

4) You should treat all humans as equals, regardless of race, gender, age, creed, identity, orientation, physical ability, or status.

5) You should use reason as your guide. Science, knowledge, observation, and rational analysis are the best ways to determine any course of action.

6) You should not force your beliefs onto others, nor insist that yours be the only and correct way to live happily.

7) If you govern, you should govern with reason, not with superstition. Religion should have no place in any government which represents all people and beliefs.

8) You should act for the betterment of your fellow humans, and be, whenever possible, altruistic in your deeds.

9) You should be good to the Earth and its bounties, for without it, humankind is lost.

10) You should impart your knowledge and wisdom gained in your lifetime to the next generation, so that with each passing century, humanity will grow wiser and more humane.

 

 

~Mari B.

Lessons Learned From a 5K Run

As some of you know, I began training in June with the goal of getting into better shape and losing some weight.  A month later I incorporated weight training as well.  I don't know how in the world I finally got the gumption to do this, and then stick with it, but I did - with help from my friend who was my training buddy  My goal was to run 3 miles in under 45 minutes and lose 25 pounds.  For three and 1/2 months I trained.....diligently.  I reached the point where I was clearly seeing muscle definition and feeling increased strength from the weight training and I was able to run 3 miles in just over 45 minutes.  I did not, however, lose a freaking pound.  It nagged at me mentally and emotionally and I had to fight to keep that from discouraging me and I will admit it became harder and harder to find the will to keep going.....but I did.  Then 'life' started happening.

Seven weeks ago Punky began rehearsals for her first major role as Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird.  Counting driving time, our entire evenings, from 6:30 until 11pm or later were taken up with preparing to perform and then performing.  I was no longer able to make it to weigh training class - which is only offered in the evenings and I was exhausted in the mornings and getting up to run was more of a struggle than ever.  I did keep training, working toward running 3 miles in 45 minutes or less, because my training buddy and I had decided to register to run our first 5K marathon - Run of Dye.  I was determined to run and not die.

About four and a half weeks before Marathon day, I did something to my left hip while running.  Whatever it was that I did it hurt like a son of a bitch.  I was already battling some pain from my left knee (I tore the hell out of it in a bicycle collision when I was 15) and swelling and pain in my left ankle, which I had severely sprained Spring of 2012 in a bad fall.  Did I mention that I have fibromyalgia?  Training became more and more of a struggle and I really missed my weight training - which really had helped with the 5K training.  I went from running 3 days a week to 2 days a week and then only here and there.  The day after a run my hip hurt so bad I could barely walk.  Finally one morning while running I 'blew my hip out'.  I say that because that is exactly what it felt like.  That was my "hit the wall' moment because I was never able to run again.  It took several days before I could even power walk and the last time I power walked the pain in my hip didn't disappear until a day before the marathon.    I didn't run again.  At all.  I couldn't.  To tell the truth I wanted to skip the 5K marathon all together.  I was still walking with some pain and a slight limp.

Yesterday was the marathon and I didn't skip it.  I did it.  Not only did I do it, but I actually met my goal.  I finished in 44:57.  That's a 14.37 minutes mile.  That's my best time ever.  While I'm not surprised I finished, I'm a little surprised I finished in my goal time.  Why,  I wondered, was I able to do that?  I hadn't run, or even walked, for weeks.  My hip had only JUST stopped aching every day and I have been so busy with Punky's schedule, having company, and preparing for hubby to get home for his two week R&R that I *never* thought it was even possible to finish within in my goal time.  On top of all that, when we arrived at the marathon we discovered that the terrain we were running on was more like a cross country experience than what I was used to doing - running on pavement/sidewalks.  The area had been mowed down but it was the most uneven terrain - roots sticking up everywhere, slopes and holes, etc.  I had to keep my eyes on the ground to avoid tripping or worse crashing to the ground like the giant in 'Jack and the Beanstalk'.  True story.

So, today I'm still wondering:  How did I do it?  How was it possible?  After some thought I have a few answers and I realize that they don't just apply to my 5K run. 

1)  Set a goal and work to achieve it.  You might fail, you might have to stop and start again, or you might just might succeed.  It's worth the effort to set the goal and work to fulfill it.  Success or failure notwithstanding.  The journey really is the most important part.

2)  Don't do it alone.  Find a buddy who understands you, wants you to succeed, knows when to push and how to push you and when to back off.  Most importantly find a buddy that will truly celebrate your success and support you when you don't.

3)  Realize that what you do today has a ripple effect in your life.  If you work hard for days at a time, weeks at a time, even months at a time and then become derailed remember that all that hard work you did isn't for nothing.  It *does* pay off in the end and maybe in ways you didn't expect.  It becomes a part of who you are and helps you along your path - one way or another.

4)  How you meet your goal may not end up being how you planned to meet your goal.  Putting in your best effort and working toward your goal matters more than following a detailed list of HOW to meet your goal.  Flexibility is necessary because life is always in a state of flux.

5)  There is nothing more rewarding that proving to **yourself** that you can do what you set your mind to do.  Nothing.  All the 'way to go', 'good job', comments from friends and family don't mean as much as being able to carry around that bit of pride and accomplishment in your mind from actually going for it!

So not only did my 5K training journey emphasize these life lessons for me, they are the reasons I succeeded.  I set a goal and worked, as best I could, to achieve it.  I didn't go it alone.  The time I was able to work hard and train paid off for the times I couldn't and still counted.  The last quarter mile of the race, when I wasn't going to finish in time, I wanted to prove to myself I could do it and I ignored the pain in my hip, knee, ankle and chest and pushed it as hard as I could and that last quarter of a mile felt like it would be the death of me in some ways, but I wanted to prove to myself I could do it and the pay off was huge.

Of course, I'm not the inappropriate homeschooler for nothing.  There were a few inappropriate lessons I learned doing the 5K:

-  I am capable of being so LOUD that the emcee of the event could hear me yell, "You suck" over the roar of a VERY large crowd and rock music coming from the speakers.  (In my defense he was throwing out free prizes and was totally ignoring the folks in the back, where my friends and I were.)

- When being chastised by the emcee for yelling out he sucked, I resort to language that wasn't appropriate.  It wasn't language that turned the air really blue - more like robin egg blue.

- I'm brazen enough that when city didn't provide any cops to help direct the crazy traffic into and out of the parking area I am willing to take my hat off and use it to direct cars.

So, that's my 5K training journey.

The most shocking thing of all for me though is the fact that I fully intend to get up in the morning and run.  I'm doing it for me, just for me. 

~Mari B.

P.S. - Can you believe the chick in the flexible picture??

***10/28/13***
P.S.S. - I didn't think it was necessary, but apparently it is.  I KNOW that a 5K is not a marathon.  I know that the proper terminology is 5K, 10K, half marathon and marathon.  I know what the distances are for each as well.  I was being IRONIC.  ;-)  The 5K was my marathon.....you know for me, it felt like a marathon.....see it's not as funny when you have to explain the joke.  ;-)

How Scout Finch Changed Our Lives

The Evolution of Punky

Punky has spent the last 7 weeks in a small town in Alabama called Maycomb County.  She has a father named Atticus and a brother Jem.  She's a tomboy with a keen mind and a bravado that only a 10 year old can have.  She's dealt with folks calling her all sorts of names and screaming at her about how her daddy defends niggers.  She's been attacked and watched her brother's arm get broken by the most bigoted, lying scum in all of Maycomb.  She's dealt with the death of one innocent black man and witnessed the death of another.  She's learned valuable life lessons about courage, empathy, and honesty as well as having the innocence torn away from her childhood by witnessing the horrors man commits against his fellow men.

Punky has brought the role of Scout, in 'To Kill a Mockingbird', to life in a way that has astonished me.  More importantly, the leap she's taken in her own growth and maturity matches her ability to breath life into Scout.  Punky's dedication to her craft and her commitment to the part, her cast mates, and the director rival - in my opinion - an adult who is a veteran of theatre.  Somewhere along this 7 week journey Punky became a young woman.  She's only 12 but she has demonstrated the maturity, responsibility, and ability of a much older girl.  Her composure and demeanor are remarkable for one so young.  She's dealt with a few personal issues along the way and there has been a marked difference in how she would have handled those issues 7 weeks ago to how she did handle them.

It may all just be a coincidence, but I personally believe it is not.  I believe that by allowing Punky to reach for her dream - auditioning for the role of Scout, pursue her true passion - acting, and giving her total ownership of the entire experience she grew up these last 7 weeks more than she would have, and in ways she might not have, if she had not had this experience.  The educational value of this experience is equal to a semester in a college theatre program.  The personal value of this experience is equal to nothing I can think of to make a comparison.  Her hard work and determination have paid off BIG for her.  

The confidence she's gained by working hard to deliver a deeply moving performance and  knowing for certain where her joy lies gives her a focus and understanding for her life that so few of us ever know, let alone learn at so young an age.  That is all so much more than any classroom could give her.

Punky has received numerous compliments and extensive praise from family, friends, and even strangers for her performance.  That is what they all see....

her talent, her abilities, her dedication, her commitment, her acting.  It's all wonderful!  It's what I see though that means so much more than all that.  I see the woman she is becoming and that woman, in my opinion, is Oscar worthy.  How does any of this relate to homeschooling you may wonder?  We owe a debt to homeschooling.  If it were not for homeschooling there would have been no Scout audition and without that all that has been realized and achieved in these last 7 weeks would not have been possible.

We made the choice to homeschool and Punky made the choice to go for her dream.  Life is all about choices, good or bad, right or wrong, our destinies will unfold according to our choices.

~Mari B.