2018 - Taking the Bull by the Horns

 Every year I write a post discussing my selected “theme” for the coming New Year.  Every year I go back and read the previous years’ “theme” posts and reflect on them.  In looking back today, I realized I never did post a theme for 2017.  I think I wrote one but it was on my laptop that died and in the process of getting my new computer, the post was never retrieved and posted.  Somehow that’s fitting because 2017 was what can best be described as a “shit-show” of a year for me and mine.  No matter what theme I might have had in mind, it would have been blown to hell by a myriad of set-backs, hard times, illnesses, losses, and more.  I’ve spent the better part of 2017 as a care-giver in one capacity or another to my parents and my husband and all their health issues and crises, to a few friends, as well as being a mom to Punky.  We have dealt with a ton of health issues, a disability, a job loss, huge financial burdens, a stalker, and impending death this year and there’s no real end in sight right now.  To be honest I was seriously thinking about not doing a theme for the coming year either as very little of the aforementioned “shit-show” has resolved itself and the world at large seems like a very gloomy, destined-to-implode place right now.  Then a friend quoted Captain Picard to me: “It is possible to do everything right and still lose”.  I sunk down into that quote for a couple of days, bemoaning in the truth of it actually.  And then I came upon this quote by Robert Brault:

"Everything we possess that is not necessary for life or happiness becomes a burden, and scarcely a day passes that we do not add to it." 

That Is Not Secular

There’s a lot of confusion or misinformation in the secular homeschooling community regarding what makes a curriculum or resource secular.  I find this both troubling and frustrating.  To me, and perhaps I’m just oversimplifying things, it’s a very easy distinction to make.  If any materials include religious content for any purpose other than academic discussion as they affect or impact a subject, then those materials/curriculum are NOT secular.  Period.

Let’s look at a few examples.  There is a math curriculum that uses religious content for their skip counting songs.  Guess what?  That means that curriculum is not secular.  It doesn’t matter if you use it and aren’t bothered by the inclusion of the religious material (because you skip it, or whatever).  The inclusion of religious content negates the ‘secular’ label and potential purchasers should know what they are getting.

 

There is a history curriculum that uses Story of the World as one of their spines.  That curriculum is not secular.  Story of the World treats Christian mythology as historic fact – through the language they use.  Another curriculum incorporates Elemental Science into their literature based curriculum, thereby negating a secular label.  Neutral science isn’t science any more than Intelligent Design or Creationism is science.  

This isn’t to say you can’t use what you want and call yourself a secular homeschooler.  If you don’t mind the religious slant/content and/or are willing to modify or enhance the curriculum to use that’s your business.  However, the secular homeschooling community deserves to know, clearly and distinctly, what curriculum/resource does and doesn’t use religious content and real science. 

When someone points out that a resource isn’t secular that should mean one thing and one thing only – there is either religious content included outside the realm of academic application and/or it is void of real science (evolution is not taught, generally speaking).   It doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with being a religious person, it’s not an attack against religion.  It isn’t PERSONAL.  It’s academic.  The religious homeschoolers have more than enough resources that are created specifically for them.  We, as secular homeschoolers, need to STOP accepting curricula that includes religious content when labeled as secular.  Let secular be secular and use whatever the hell you want, but don’t tell me something is secular because you don’t have a problem with the religion in it. 

 

Let’s use the one clear definition as secular homeschoolers and let’s be strong in our stance. 

Secular curriculum/materials have NO religious content other than that which is used for academic study and it teaches scientific principles as accepted by the scientific community at large.

That’s it.  Period. 

 

Use what you want, but don’t call it secular unless it really is.

~Mari B.

Welcome to High School, Freshman!

Welcome Back, Kotter!

Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about. 

So I’m heading back to high school!  Ooh!  Ooh! Ooh!  Mr. Kotter, Mr. Kotter?  HELP!

This will be our 8^th year homeschooling and our first year homeschooling high school. I have no idea who set the clock to fast forward, but it was only a couple of years ago we were just starting our homeschooling journey and Punky was an adorable 2^nd grader; but alas Punky is a Freshman and she chose to remain homeschooled rather than her original plan of returning to public school. So, I’m back to that same old place that I laughed about...the dreaded high school years. Of course, I went to public school so this is going to be different – a lot different. Yet, I’m still the teacher and now I have to teach a high school student.  *Gasp*

2016...The Year of NOW

As some may remember, I don't do resolutions.  They are wasted on me as I'm more of a 'big picture' person.  At the end of 2011 I realized that my life was too hectic and busy.  I was allowing myself to be pulled into too many directions.  I decided that I need to change that for the coming year and so I picked a theme for the year.  One word that I could focus on that would help guide me, focus me, on how I lived and to fulfill my goals for that year.  Simplify was the word then.  In the years since I've continued to select a one word theme for each new year as I've found it really helps me.  It's a way of letting go of what didn't work in the previous year but not getting bogged down with a lot of 'have tos and shoulds'.  Through the years I've embraced "Authentic", "Peace", and "Transformation" as well as the original "Simplify".

I must admit that surprising results are netted from doing this.  Sometimes, throughout any given year, I'm reminded of something my mother always said, "Careful what you ask for." 

What the Hell Is Wrong With People?

There is something seriously wrong with people when they get angry - filled with RAGE - when someone else believes differently, acts differently, celebrates differently, lives differently than they do.  Seriously.  If someone else's actions have no real impact on you - they aren't stopping you from life, liberty, or your pursuit of happiness - and you feel anger toward them you need to seek professional help.  No human being should be so angry at the world that differences cause them to react in anger.  It is NOT normal for you to feel enraged because someone isn't a Christian.  It is not normal to feel enraged because someone is gay.  It is NOT normal for you to feel enraged because someone doesn't celebrate Christmas, either at all or what you deem as the 'right way' (your way).  It's NOT normal for you to be so filled with hate and anger that you won't even speak to a person who has a different color of skin,  wears an item of clothing you wouldn't, or is holding hands with a person of the same sex, etc.  When anger and hate fill your heart so that anyone, anywhere, anytime that is DIFFERENT than you makes your blood boil, you see red, or you envision committing a violent act against them......YOU have the PROBLEM:  an emotional, mental, spiritual crisis that should have YOU seeking guidance, counseling .....maybe even medication.  THAT is the conversation we should be having in this country. 

WHY are so many Americans SO angry and filled with SO much hate? 

Homeschool Kids are Weird

So, a funny thing happened at lunch last week.  An acquaintance made the comment to me, "Homeschool kids are weird," followed quickly by....."Oh, not YOUR daughter, she's perfectly normal....but you know, ok...well you know, usually, homeschool kids are weird."  I literally said nothing in return but merely stared at her until she changed the subject.  Since then I've given this a lot of thought.  She's right.  Homeschooled kids are weird.

Yep, I'm saying it.....homeschool kids are weird - in hundreds of different ways.  They are weird for hundreds of different reasons, but being homeschooled isn't one of them.  It's a casual fallacy to put forth the argument that homeschooling causes children to be weird.  In order for an effect to be correctly linked to a cause certain "rules" have to be followed. 

1. Generally, if C occurs, then E will occur, and
2. Generally, if C does not occur, then E will not occur ether.

What has happened, in my opinion, that results in homeschooling being thought to make kids weird is known as a Post Hoc casual fallacy - Because one thing follows another, it is held to cause the other.

Why do I believe that?  Well let's look again at what is required to link a cause to an effect.  If homeschooling (C) occurs, then a child will be weird (E occurs) **and** if homeschooling (C) does not occur then a child will not be weird (E will not occur).  So what this means, at least as I understand it, is that generally if homeschooling occurs, children will be weird.  Well homeschooled kids are weird so there's that.  Now, if homeschooling doesn't occur then children will not be weird.  Wait, hold up....so if children aren't homeschooled they aren't weird?  Well - and here's where saying homeschooling causes kids to be weird derails - children who aren't homeschooled are in fact .....weird.  Just spend a day at your child's daycare, public/private school for proof that kids are weird.

Ah, ha!  That's it!  There's the answer.  Kids are weird.  Period.  All kids, every kid, in some way, can be labeled 'weird'.  This meets the 'rule' that if "C" occurs (you're a kid) then "E" will occur (you're weird) and if you aren't a kid (never born) then you aren't weird.  We can't say that once you aren't a kid you are no longer weird because truth be told ALL people are weird.  I'm weird, you're weird, she's weird, he's weird, your mom was weird, your dad was too and let's not get started on how weird your siblings are!

Why Do I Vaccinate My Child and Secularly Homeschool?

Science!  Yes, the questions was posed:  "If you vaccinate your child then why do you homeschool?"  I admit it, I was stunned for a bit.  I never thought the two issues linked, until recently, as the topic of vaccinations is 'hot' at this time.  No, I have learned that a lot of secular homeschoolers do not vaccinate.  I have to admit, this surprised me a lot.  Secular homeschoolers are set apart from other homeschoolers due to their acceptance of and adherence to real science.  Yet, I didn't think anyone would think that pro-vaxers are NOT in the homeschooling community.  I'm here to tell you WE'RE HERE!  Just as there are secular homechoolers in the homeschooling community and even Inappropriate Homeschoolers, there are pro-vaxers in the homeschooling community and our answer to why we vaccinate is: science.  It just so happens that is also one of the answers to why we are SECULAR homeschoolers.  Science.  Real science.

Respecting Rights vs. Tolerating Beliefs

That family with a lot of kids who are homeschooled and very fundamental Christian in their religious ideology has been in the news a bit lately.  There was the snafu of the '1st kiss' pictures on their facebook page where folks from the LGBT community posted their own kiss pictures with their partners and then there was the robocall the matriarch of this clan put out that likened transgender human beings to pedophiles.  As expected, facebook, twitter, etc BLEW UP with posts, comments, and memes either in support of the clan's statements and beliefs or opposing them.  I, myself, crawled out from under the evolutionary rock from which I sprang to post a comment or two, share a meme, and give rise to my ire at the offensive implication that was made toward the LGBT community.

It was through these exchanges that I was banned from one facebook page with all my comments deleted.  So many others also commented that the owner of the page felt the need to delete all such remarks, ban all who opposed the discriminatory ideology, and make this post:

..."I am finding that people are coming here attacking Christians and saying that we need to be "tolerant" of their beliefs, but not vice versa. I find it repugnant that my beliefs, faith and morals are NOT tolerated. I find it repugnant that freedom of religion continues to be trampled upon in this nation, something that was so very important to our founding fathers. I find it repugnant that the Constitution has become irrelevant and disrespected. It is beyond words that people have redefined freedom of speech to fit their own narrow definition. It applies to EVERYONE, no matter what. That is what my husband has fought for in 2 wars, and hundreds of thousands before him. I will not stand silent while his sacrifice is demeaned and my faith attacked. I will have to tolerate the beliefs of those I disagree with and demand that the same be done in return. That is civility. And so many here on FB have proven that they lack their quality."

Hey, it's her facebook page - she can do as she wants.  I have, upon rare occasion, banned a few folks from the IH facebook page.  The ones I ban are the ones that post such obscene and offensive hate speech or  just religiously repugnant ideology, that I literally can't stomach having their comments on my facebook page.  So, I support her right to delete commentary and ban people.  It's her page.  But it did get me to thinking about rights and tolerance...

Life & Experience Based Learning

 It's been a coon's age (living in the south has its effects) since I blogged.  Truthfully I'm not sure how long a coon's age is, I'll have to google that, but I know it's been months.   The time since we started 7th grade when I posted our new school year beginning and now A LOT has happened in our lives.  A LOT.  First, I was eating, sleeping, breathing, and quite honestly, shitting all things conference related.  THAT was it.  Well, that and still trying to homeschool and keep the IH facebook page and support group going.  I can't say for certain, and I don't want to check, in case I'm right, but I *think* my husband mumbled something about divorcing me if my schedule stayed the way it was for much longer.  I always said that on September 10th I would be doing NOTHING, as a well-deserved rest from all things N.A.S.H. and the conference.  What I didn't know was that 'rest' I needed required more than one day and did in fact last for longer than a week and then before I knew it, it was birthdays, Halloween, and the most major flare-up of my fibromyalgia I have ever experienced.

In the midst of all that, my father fell off a ladder - he's 83 - and had a concussion.  Then, my husband had eye surgery and then knee surgery.  Then my father fell again and shattered his femur and he's still a patient at the rehab center.  My best friend's (of 29 years) mother had a major stroke at the same time and is still in rehab and is not doing as well as we hoped.  Meanwhile my flare-up continued and continued.......most days we homeschooled from my bed and we only covered the 'necessary'.

So, that catches you up on what has been going on in our lives for the last three months and what kept me from blogging.  I'm feeling somewhat better and I actually have something to talk about that *may* be of interest, so here I am again.  With all that life continues to throw at us, often times Punky finishes her daily assignments - grammar lesson, vocabulary lesson, and math lesson - and is left asking what she should do next.  In an effort to give her the direction and suggestions she needs, yet still allow her choices in how she spends her time, I had been pondering a new method for our homeschooling experience.  As it was, so much of our days were filled with *real* life, real experiences, that it felt like any learning she was doing was coming from those real life experiences. 

School Year 2014/2015 is Here!

It's that time of year where the world sends kids to school; every post you read seems to say, "Thank God, the bus picked them up today."  Unless you're a homeschooler, that is! 

Despite any challenges that present in our homeschooling journey, both Punky and I remain convinced we are on the right path.  We both enjoy watching the school bus drive by without Punky on it.  Ok, we both enjoy the *idea* of the bus driving by with her on it since neither of us are awake when the bus actually goes by!  The pluses always outweigh the minuses for us in homeschooling!  Creating our own schedule, doing things in our own time, following the day as it unfolds rather than forcing it along remain top pluses on our 'Benefits of Homeschooling' list! 

Yet, we are entering our 6th year of homeschooling and Punky's 7th grade academic year.  We both agreed that each year of Middle School would bring an increased work load and more structured learning.  Last year Punky was required to keep a notebook, divided by subjects, and she was given a weekly schedule of assignments to complete along with deadlines.  This was met with mixed emotions.  On one hand, she liked having the outline and deadlines and on the other hand she hated having deadlines.  Ah, good grasshopper you are learning the ways of the world.

Saving the Best for Last!

THIS IS THE BEST DEAL YET!

THIS IS THE LAST SPECIAL BEFORE THE CONFERENCE

Homeschool Moms!!

 Grab your best gal pal and 'Get-Away'!

You and your friend will receive:

3 night stay at Crown Point Plaza, Atlanta Airport

2 Adult Passes to the Conference (Vendors & Workshops)

Dinners on Thursday and Saturday evening

Lunches Friday and Saturday

*If you want to get a little crazy, you can purchase tickets to Friday evening's Inappropriate Homeschooler Adult Cocktail Reception!

Come on!  You've been a fan - come meet me in Atlanta!

~Mari B.

GRAND OPENING of The Inappropriate Homeschooler Shop

Did you know?

The Inappropriate Homeschooler 

now has merchandise!

Cool stuffs that you can buy!

Check it out under the tab "SHOP" or go to:

IH SHOP

 

3 Tips for a Hot, Inappropriate Homeschooling Marriage

Let's be honest.  

Our kids are with us ALL the tme.  

That's an upside, in my opinion, to homeschooling.  

Alas, it can cause a 'downside'.  

How do you have a hot marriage if the kids are always in the picture?

Never fear, the answers are here!

Quality Secular Resources/Books

I love Usborne!

I discovered Usborne books shortly after Punky and I began our homeschooling journey and I've had a love affair with them ever since.  The quality of the materials is excellent and the content is divine.  The fact that they are internet linked is icing on the cake!  I own almost every resource material book they have produced and I still find more to buy.

So, when Usborne offered to host a Book Party Fundraiser in support of N.A.S.H. I was delighted!  

I highly recommend you check them out if you haven't yet.  If you already use Usborne and you are planning on making a purchase for the upcoming school year, I ask you to consider doing so through The Inappropriate Homeschooler Funds N.A.S.H. Book Party.  It's super easy - you order from the comfort of your own computer and the items are sent directly to you.  The best part?  50% - yes, half - of all proceeds will go to fund N.A.S.H.

You receive quality resource materials and books and you do a little something to help the secular homeschooling community.  

How awesome is that?!?

Browse, buy, and support 

The Inappropriate Homeschooler supporting N.A.S.H.!

Usborne Book Party to Support N.A.S.H.

~Mari B.

The Art of Inappropriate Homeschooling

By

The Inappropriate Homeschooler

Inappropriate homeschooling is the easiest of all homeschooling methods.   There's really only a few items on the check list of homeschooling inappropriately.

  

1.  Be Authentic. 

 There's only one way to be happy:  Be your authentic self.  That bit of wisdom is not only true for living but for homeschooling as well.  If it isn't 'for you' don't try to make it 'for you'.  Don't worry about trying to teach kids fractions while cooking if you hate to cook.  Don't worry about trying to teach your kids all about plants by planting your own garden if you hate gardening.  Don't worry about following a curriculum if you *hate* following curriculums.  Follow a curriculum if you *love* following a curriculum.  Read all sorts of blog posts and pinterest boards for fabulous ideas on homeschooling if it works for you.  If doing that makes you feel sick to your stomach, don't read them - except this one of course.  The bottom line here is be true to yourself and allow your children to be true to themselves.  Find what works for you and your kids - no matter what it looks like to anyone else - and DO THAT.  If you are pulling your hair out, constantly 'sweating' over homeschooling, or continually feeling like you are failing then you are not being your authentic self and that doesn't work.  Trust me.

2.  Be Honest

The first step to being authentic is be honest.  Be honest with yourself, about yourself and about your kids.  This is hard-core, look yourself in the mirror honesty.  Do you work well with schedules?  Do your kids?  Do you do better with curricula?  Do your kids?  How do you best accomplish goals?  Are the goals you set ones that matter to you?  (Most of us don't accomplish goals that don't either matter to us or pay some dividend so we have to do what works for us).  If you already know that planning that BIG science project and buying all the supplies is as far as you'll get with it - be honest about that and skip it.  There *are* other ways to achieve objectives.  If you want or need your child to learn a foreign language, you don't have to learn it first you just have to find a resource for your child that works for him to learn it.  The same is true for science projects, gardening, and cooking (with fractions).  The more honest you are about who you are and what works for you the easy it is to look at your kids and be honest about what works for them and then find the authentic path that is your family's homeschooling.

Please Considering Supporting N.A.S.H.

It has been a dream of mine for a bit now.  I've blogged about it, talked about it, and posted about it for almost two years.  I've been fortunate to have a great deal of support via a talented team of women taking on various positions with N.A.S.H. and an entire group of Inappropriate Homeschoolers cheering us on who believe in the idea behind The National Alliance of Secular Homeschoolers.

As we move closer and closer to the reality of N.A.S.H. I'd like to ask all the 'inappropriate homeschoolers' out there, and anyone else who support secular homeschooling, to please considering helping with funding!  

I truly believe that the day will come when homeschoolers, just like us, will have a strong voice, united in our vision, having created an alliance that provides support, resources, and a community for us all.

Thank you for any help you can give.  Any amount is deeply appreciated.

GoFundMe NASH Fundraiser

~Mari B.

Take the N.A.S.H. Survey

N.A.S.H. 

The National Alliance of Secular Homeschoolers wants to hear from all secular homeschoolers!  

Give your input today!

 SURVEY

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/14uYzSpCWz1YG_ZkrJSADiLM8KTJjQ1CpOrqEmT0d7vE/viewform

If you haven't found them on facebook yet go here:  

https://www.facebook.com/nationalallianceofsecularhs?ref=hl

Follow their blog here:

http://nationalallianceofsecularhomeschoolers.wordpress.com/

~Mari B.

Why I Believe It Matters

I've talked about my personal journey; how I arrived where I currently am.  It is how I arrived and what I endured that drives me to build the National Alliance of Secular Homeschoolers (N.A.S.H.).

We are entering our 6th year of  homeschooling.  I homeschool my soon-to-be 13 year old daughter who we fondly call Punky.  She is entering the 7th grade.  Our reasons for homeschooling are similar to many families, yet, as with all families, varied and personal.  Our journey over the last five years has been filled with some 'hits' and a lot of 'misses', yet we move forward because we still believe it is the right choice for us.  Over the course of these years, I have scoured through books and the internet looking for help, answers, resources, and anything else that even pertained to omeschooling.  Sorting through all that information on homeschooling, especially in the beginning, can feel a bit like climbing a very large mountain.  Weeding through all that to find what fits is challenging and made more so when one is looking for secular materials and resources, including real life connections.

When I first began homeschooling, everyone I met was a religious homeschooler; specifically a Christian homeschooler.  I don’t think I was even cognizant of the term Secular homeschooler.  I knew of course that public school steered clear of, or was legally required to anyway, religious instruction, curriculum, etc.  I wanted that in our homeschooling experience and so I avoided using religious curriculum.  I graduated from a religious private school and I still remember show skewed the history and science books were. 

 

Other than searching for non-religious homeschooling supplies, curriculum (the struggle to find history and science that was taught from a secular view point was the hardest), resources, I didn’t think there was any ‘secular’ support for homeschoolers.  Or at least, I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone like that.  For the first part of our homeschooling year we fluttered and faltered in and around the Christian groups.  I did not like having to sign Statements of Faith.  We found one group whose SoF was their declaration of beliefs and by signing you were agreeing to not advocate against it.  I settled for that.  It was the best I could find where we live and we did meet some great people in that group – some that I’m still friends with today.  However, it ultimately didn’t work out and neither did my attempts to establish an ‘inclusive’ group.  The good thing that came from that though was finding that some secular homeschoolers who had moved to our area heard of me and that group and while many of the religious homeschoolers found me ‘distasteful’ and referred to me as a heathen or an atheist (I might qualify for the first, but not the latter), these new to the area secular homeschoolers were drawn to the ‘least religious’ thing in town and therefore…me!  It was this group of folks who formed the Secular homeschool group that I joined after leaving behind the inclusive group.

Book NOW for the 2014 Inaugural N.A.S.H. Conference and Save!

  Inappropriate Homeschooler Blog Readers Save $$

Book before July 1st!

  When you register use coupon code:  IHBlog2014

Go to: http://www.nationalallianceofsecularhomeschoolers.com/conference.html

 I am the keynote speaker at this conference and this is your chance to have your voice heard as the foundation of N.A.S.H. is created in the planning and executive sessions during the weekend!  There will also be an adult only cocktail reception on Friday evening (additional cost) hosted by The Inappropriate Homeschooler!

Electronic Brochure:

http://pub.lucidpress.com/c8cc29fc-d319-4e1a-beef-7856b92e6e56/

Book your hotel at Crown Plaza Atlanta Airport and receive:

Discounted room rate of $71 per night (Reg. $120. Must book by July 31, 2014 for discounted rate.)
Complimentary boxed lunches on Friday and Saturday (a $36 value)
Thursday's Meet and Greet Dinner (a $26 value)
Saturday's Pizza Party (a $20 value)

Optional: Cook-to-order Breakfast Buffet
(includes a family of four) hotel rate goes up to $119.

Conference attendees not staying at the Crowne Plaza will receive complimentary boxed lunches on Friday and Saturday.

Can't wait to meet you in Atlanta!

~Mari B.

Homeschooling in the Headlines

http://nationalallianceofsecularhomeschoolers.wordpress.com/2014/06/23/homeschooling-in-the-headlines-homeschoolers-need-not-apply/