Some Actions Are So Unjust....

If you are new to my blog or facebook page you are about to learn a few things about me:

1)      I support equal rights for EVERYONE – If I am legally allowed to do it and it’s been deemed a ‘right’ for me or you then it’s a damn right for everyone I don’t care what your personal or religious beliefs are about the issue.

2)      When someone is treated as vilely as was the person I was contacted about today, I *have* to say something.

3)      I curse.

Have you heard of the Southeast Homeschool Expo?  It’s being held this summer in Atlanta, GA.  The organization that runs this Expo is the Home Educators Encouragement Alliance (HEEA).  They also run the Chicago Homeschool Expo, Georgia Homeschool Expo, and the Alabama Homeschool Expo.

 According to their own website their purpose is:

We believe the God of Creation personally watches over and blesses all types of parents and their children.  We also believe that God commands us to get knowledge and to get wisdom and to not forget these things. In learning more about the world, we are also learning about the One who created it. We believe in diversity of education, that when it comes to children, one size does not fit all and that parents deserve choices and help in their endeavors.  We celebrate the willingness of parents to step out of line and fearlessly take control of their children’s educations.  We are thrilled that homeschooled children turn out so well. 

The operators of this organization are a mother and son team,  Randi St. Dennis and Mark St. Dennis.

Their contact information can be found here:

http://www.balancingthesword.com/homeschool/organizations/organization_detail.asp?ID=131&Name=Home+Educators+Encouragement+Alliance

A fan of my page, who is a friend of a friend, placed a call to this organization yesterday in an attempt to register herself and her wife for the Expo, inquiring if they would be allowed the ‘couple’ rate.

This fan is a person of faith – Catholic to be specific.

Now, am I surprised, after meandering through the website, that this organization would not grant the couple rate to a same sex couple?  Nope.  Not in the least.  Don’t get me wrong – I don’t agree with them – but I’m not surprised.

What does surprise me is what Ms. Randi St. Dennis said to the fan who made the inquiry.  Here is what was shared with me today regarding the conversation between Ms. St. Dennis and the woman who made the inquiry:

  

·  Today was the call, and pretty much ……the fact I must get up crying every morning because of how miserable I am and what I am doing to my children. I originally spoke to a man who told me that if I waited they were having a special, the registration would be free. This was great, but just struck me as off as he wouldn't answer my question about if the benefits were applicable to same-sex couples. I asked to speak to the director who promptly got in the phone and said she gets asked this question all the time. Then she went into the fact that she was in this perverted life of homosexuality and prostitution where she lived in fl. I asked if she was equating homosexuals and prostitutes and she said yes they were both sexually deviant lifestyles. While my brain attempted to process this she went on to explain about us being like the animals in the zoo that had to be separated because they were developing into homosexuals. Then with the how miserable I am being an abomination along with my children being abominations. She didn't approve of China's one child policy. She believed things should be all natural.

She said she had treated her patients who were deviant and knew they could never be happy being gay. She repeatedly told me to be quiet and listen to her. That I needed to hear what she was saying. I held the phone away, cause she just kept talking about how horrible we were, how miserable I was and how my children were witness to our abomination. I then told her that we obviously would not be attending and another family also would not and that I would share her position with our hs group. I then said I would pray for her and her patients.

I immediately called ____________who was the other family that had requested info also. Her parents are same sex. So if you would like to speak to her to confirm or clarify anything that I may have forgotten, please feel free as I seriously could not function for about an hour after the call. The call was @ 1720 today. Thank you for your support. It was just a bit overwhelming to think there are people so hateful in the world.

Randi St Dennis. She said she was a therapist. She said she was the director.

_____________________________________________________________________________

I don’t see anywhere in their ‘purpose’ statement anything that would give indication that this organization is a homophobic, bigoted, hate-filled organization that is guilty of spreading disgusting lies and untruths about the gay community and what it means to be gay.

I don’t see anywhere in the director’s comments where she showed human decency.

If you, or someone you know, pays to attend this Expo, or any others organized by this group, then be aware of what you are truly supporting.

If you are, like I am, disgusted by this unnecessary and vicious attack against a fellow homeschooler, then please call or write and let our voices be heard as homeschoolers!!

Here is a link to all the vendors who will be attending this Expo (and I’m sure the other Expos).  Perhaps a word to them about why we won’t be attending this or any Expo organized by HEEA.

 http://www.homeschoolexpodirectory.com/

What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.

Robert F. Kennedy

~Mari B.

Deschooling the Inappropriate Homechooler Way

The Experiment Begins

So I read a bunch of books and blogs and internet articles on the topic of unschooling.  I did that because in my heart I’m an unschooler who allowed her fears to keep her, and thereby her child, a prisoner of the educational process.  But, I have sorta already blogged about that so I’ll zip through that part then.  After reading a bunch of blogs, books, and articles I found one of two things to be true.  Either the book just didn’t connect with me, or rather I didn’t connect to the book, OR the book didn’t supply me with the information I felt I needed.  Here and there a gem or two might be layng in the midst of the reading I was doing – enough to keep me interested and searching – but nothing jumped up and said ‘See, here, this right here….this is how YOU know you are meant to be an unschooler!’  Then, I found the book that did just that.  ‘Free Range Learning’ was that book and not only did it give me the chutzpah I needed to cry out ‘I will unschool!’ it gave a lot of fabulous resources for a myriad of subjects.  I don’t remember now how I stumbled upon my next pot of gold, probably through my unending quest for information, but I found a book called ‘Deschooling Gently’.  I wasn’t even done with the first chapter before I KNEW we were going to become unschoolers.  This book is a treasure, in my opinion.  The title makes it seem as if it’s not an unschooling book and the author even acknowledges the question, “Is this a book about unschooling?’ with the answer, “yes and no.”  It’s easy to understand why she says that.  You could follow the guidelines and suggestions in this book to deschool your children, and more importantly yourself, and then move into whatever form of home based learning/schooling you’d like to do.  So, it’s not a book about unschooling.  Then again, you can use the guidelines and suggestions in this book to deschool and just keep on moving along with that until one day you will realize, “We’re unschooling and loving it!”

I don’t know that to be factual on a personal level via my experience with it – yet – but my gut tells me that will be true for us as well.  So, in essence we begin our unschooling experiment/journey by going back, back to where we should have started but didn’t know enough to do it this way the first time.  We begin the process of deschooling.  From the nuggets of information I’ve gleaned from the book and through my own needs and desires here is our plan for deschooling – inappropriate homeschooler style!

 Punky will get to choose a period of the day, spanning 2 to 3 hours, where she has my undivided attention.  During this time, if she’d like to work on a project together, read together, play games together, work on her math (she still wants to do math), cook together, go for a hike, whatever it is she wants, then that is what we will be doing.  The rest of the day is hers to explore, play, putter and piddle, as she wishes.  We will still continue with our outside of the activities that we are involved in, which include:  Park Day with our HS group, Co-Op class (a different subject each week), library writing class, tap dance class, and for the next 8 weeks her participation in rehearsals and performances for ‘The Music Man’.

 That’s it.  That’s our deschooling plan.  For now, anyway.  Who knows what will be discovered, changed, tweaked, added or thrown out!  I have come to understand that when I am excited over learning/doing something new I should expose Punky to my passion – without forcing it upon her.  I’ve looked inward as to what it is I’d like to learn or do.  The first thing I realized was that I want to be a better cook.  I want to enjoy my time in the kitchen.  I’m going to look into finding a cooking class (if this little town I live in offers such a thing) and see if Punky would like to participate with me!  Another item that has me excited is something a friend shared with me – Think! Activities.  I shared the website on my facebook page.  The website/blog has little projects kids can do to that are designed to be fun, creative, and to help them think outside the box.  I’m excited about those and have already shared some of them with Punky, who seems to think they sound interesting.  Who knows?  She may take to them or not.  But, I’ve created little index cards –“Think Challenge” cards - each with a project on them and they’ll go in the task card box that I have that includes project suggestions for History and Science.

The best part of this process is that I, for the first time, feel like I can RELAX about homeschooling while I too piddle and putter as we find our new way to learning and living fully!

I’ll keep you posted! ;-)

~Mari B.

As If I Wasn't Inappropriate Enough...

The Unschooling Experiment Begins

On one hand it is surprising to me that it has taken us 3 ½ year to reach this point.  On the other hand, I fully recognize that if we hadn’t done what we did, been where we were, we would not have reached the point we are at right now.  The truth of the matter is that it has taken me that long to get really comfortable, honestly comfortable, with the concept of unschooling.  John Holt was one of the first authors I read when I first began researching homeschooling and what he said struck chord after chord within me.  Yet, I wasn’t aware enough of ‘real life’ of homeschooling yet to be able to put what I read into the context of our own daily lives.  Now, almost 3 ½ years later, and having found a couple excellent resources to give me concrete guidance, I am ready to begin the experiment of unschooling Punky.  Yes, you may be wondering, ‘what about Punky?’  She would have unschooled out of the gate – not that she knew that was what it was called.  She’s been pushing me toward unschooling – albeit unknowingly – since the end of 2^nd grade.  Punky has also been extremely intuitive, scarily so in some ways.  I *know* she is.  Apparently when it came to trusting her instincts I had a lot to learn.

 I didn’t listen to my own instincts either.  I was ‘schooled’ for a total of 19 years all in all.  That way of thinking and performing was deeply, deeply ingrained in me.  So the majority of the struggle that Punky and I have had in finding out homescooling way is directly related to the fact that I didn’t trust that *I* needed to be deschooled, even more than Punky needed to be.  Now, I know that fact to be true, it just took me 3 ½ years to make the final realization.  It’s ok though, I am right where I am supposed to be.  If I hadn’t been ‘there’, I wouldn’t be ‘here’.  So, while I wish I’d come to the realization sooner, wish I’d trusted my instincts sooner……wishing doesn’t get me anywhere; focusing on where I am now is what will help us move further along our path.

Hubby is deploying for his 1 year remote this coming week.  Punky and I have a year to keep busy while we wait for our family to be reunited.  Instead of merely ‘waiting’ for the year to pass as we blindly go about our normal lives (or as normal as it would be with hubby gone) doing the same old same old, we will take this opportunity to embark upon a new adventure, an adventure that will hopefully transition us into a way of living and learning that keeps everything fresh, exciting, and enjoyable!  To begin this experiment, I have decided, along with Punky who was given the chance to voice her opinions, that we will follow the advice I found in the book ‘Deschooling Gently’ by Tammy Takahashi.  I love books that I connect with on a personal level but also provide concrete suggestions.  It’s my schooled habit to want to follow a guideline, a check-list, a program.  I know I need to deschool myself from that, but in all the information I read on unschooling (there is a suprising amount out there – and some of it is a bit too militant for my personal taste) this was one of the few books that said, ‘here’s how you can begin this process’ while also saying ‘but do what works for you, your children, and your family’.

So that is where we are right now.  This week, after we bid what I know will be a weepy farewell to the man in our lives, Punky and I will begin our experiment, the process of deschooling, and that will hopefully transition us into unschooling.  I fully expect that our unschooling will not necessarily look like what any other unschooler’s learning looks like because I now understand that unschooling means simply following whatever natural living and learning paths are best for my family.  No one can tell me I’m doing it ‘wrong’ because what is right for someone else may very well not be what is right for me.  So we will deschool and I have no idea how long that process will last because that is a bridge upon the path of our new journey that we have yet to cross.

~Mari B.