A Little Lesson on Inappropriate

My Life Lesson on Being Inappropriate

I’ve been receiving remarks, let’s call it ‘commentary’, on my inappropriate nature.  At first I wondered if people just weren’t paying attention.  I mean, I practically wear a warning sign when I leave the house!  Granted the sign doesn’t say anything about ‘inappropriate’, it looks more like this:

Or this:

 

I get that words mean different things to different people, even though we have these things called Dictionaries to avoid confusion.  Nonetheless, words carry different meaning for different folks.

I just wanted to take a brief moment out of your day, and mine, to blog about being inappropriate and my recent life lesson on inappropriateness.  After explaining (and confessing) publicly, I hope I’ll not have to do so again and if I do, I can always direct folks (or myself, if appropriate) back to this blog entry.

First item on the agenda:  Inappropriate.  Easy definition is:  not appropriate.   

LOL  I joke... because I can.   

Merriam & Webster (my favorite source for definitions) says this: 

Inappropriate - not appropriate : unsuitable

Hmmm, so I wasn’t so far off the mark!

We can actually get a bit more by looking at synonyms for inappropriate.

Here they are:

amiss, graceless, improper, inapposite, inapt, incongruous, incorrect, indecorous, inept, infelicitous, malapropos, perverse, unapt, unbecoming, unfit, unhappy, unseemly, unsuitable, untoward, wrong, out of place, out of the way

Seriously though, the word itself is fairly easy to understand, I believe.  It’s the CONTEXT that muddles things up.  Something (or someone) can be inappropriate due to words spoken, actions committed, or bad placement.  I hit the Trifecta of inappropriateness.  I am inappropriate due to my words, actions, and placement.  I fully recognize that I have control over the first two, while having little to no control over the last.

In looking over the synonyms for inappropriate I find that there are a couple on the list that I really am not comfortable being labeled.  Graceless, ouch!  Inapposite, inapt and inept (which all mean about the same) is just well, insulting!  Who wants to be thought of as foolish, without sense or reason, absurd, or incompetent??  And how in the world is ‘unhappy’ a synonym for ‘inappropriate’?  I looked around and discovered it was used in this context: 

He made an unhappy choice.  He made an inappropriate choice. 

Hmmm?

Now the rest on the list, I’m fine with because I am all those other things and I LOVE IT!

So, where’s my recent life lesson, you may be wondering right about now?  Here it is.  I speak more than my mind.  I speak my emotions.  That, my friend, is very dangerous territory; for both me and others.  I’m finally starting to realize just how important a difference it is.  A lot of folks speak their mind and while I’m sure there are those that are offended by that, it’s not as unacceptable, inappropriate, rude, or HURTFUL as it can be to speak your emotions.  Speaking your emotions is another thing entirely. And it’s not always with words that I speak my emotions.  My facial expressions and body language are ‘larger than life’ ( like the rest of me) most of the time and can pack just as much of a wallop as my words!

Emotions are fickle.  Even strong emotions can be fickle.  One doesn’t have to be diagnosed with a mental illness to experience mood swings.  It happens regularly for most of us – perhaps more for women then men, but I don’t want to make those types of generalizations.  Something that has me hot under the collar today may not even be a blip on my radar by tomorrow.  It’s not just that I need to remember that.  I need to remember that my words and actions should reflect the person I *truly* am, not the emotion I am having in a given moment. 

I’m reminded of the line from one of my favorite movies of all time, ‘When Harry Met Sally’, where Sally tells Harry that he has to figure out a way to not express every feeling he has every moment he has them.

Oh how true, how true – so pay attention Harry, err, Mari!

And now I realize that is where I truly run into problems.  Big ones!  Sigh.  It isn’t a problem when people refer to me as a bitch or don’t like me because I’m not afraid to state my opinion, speak my mind, stand up for what I believe, laugh at things others think are inappropriate, or be a little wild and crazy.  That, my friend, is ON THEM – not me.  But it is a problem when what I say or do is being fueled by blind emotions.  When I react first, off the cuff, without thinking or taking people’s feelings into consideration, I’m hurting others and in the end hurting myself because that isn’t who I am, not in my heart.  That certainly isn’t the person I want to be.

I’m a work in progress is all I can think to say; well that and at least I’ve finally recognized the problem because you know you can’t solve a problem until you admit you have one! 

Lest you think me an idiot, it’s not like I didn’t realize before this that I spoke my emotions.  Of course I did.  I just didn’t grasp to what extent I did - how inappropriate it really could be, and worse – how hurtful to others it was.  No matter how often something stares us in the face, it’s not until we have our own personal ‘Aha’ moment that we truly begin to understand.

Yep, I’ve done some damage - in the past and the present.  Real damage.  Realizing that makes me realize how much damage I must have done throughout my 45 years.  Ouch. 

I fear that in some ways I’m like Hurricane Katrina --- years have passed but the effects are still being felt.  And no, not because I think I’m so powerful that I was able to devastate anyone who had the misfortune to cross my path.  Rather, I’m reminded of the line from the movie ‘Remember Me’ – “Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch.”  I believed that before I heard it and I still do.  What I said or did to every someone I’ve said or done something to is still there, somewhere.  It’s a part (if only the tiniest particle) of their life and who they are.

The same is true for me.  For all the folks who left finger prints on my life, those prints helped shape me for good or bad, positive or negative.  There’s no point in wondering why people who cause us pain come into our life, not really.  They are necessary.  Yes, they are responsible for what they said or did to us – just as I am responsible for all the things I have said and done; but they were necessary to our individual story.  We are the ultimate authors of our lives.  We write the story from the material available to us and we have the power to write it the way we want it to be.  I think I’m digressing though, so back to topic.

Life Lesson #9, 947:

  There is an inappropriate way of being inappropriate or, better still...
 there is an appropriate way of being inappropriate.

Other people's actions are their Karma, how I react is mine.

~Mari B.

There are Disadvantages to Homeschooling?

Really?

 Here is the opinion that was shared with me:

The main disadvantage of homeschooling (in my opinion) will be the lack of socialization by your children. Not being able to learn with friends, and not being able to associate and congregate with other kids of the same age could lead to some developmental problems. An inability to socialize well, a shyness that comes with not being around other kids, and a tendency to work better as an individual, rather than in a team stem from this lack of association. These are of course things that could be overcome if the attempt is made to rectify them. By being involved in other activities such as dance or sports, by living in a neighborhood with many other children that can be socialized with in free time, or by having siblings or cousins that are in the public system, the social skills can rub off on kids that are homeschooled. I think that it is important for all kids to have an open environment to hang-out with kids their own age, and if not in school, then there should be another source.

Another disadvantage to being homeschooled, is that resources aren't as fluid as they are in a public/private school setting. The theory is that schools will have better books, and the teachers will have a better education than a parent does, and it could serve as a disadvantage if the parent is not ready and willing to be the go-to person for everything under the sun. The parent must be willing to do the research if a question can't be answered on the spot, which could actually turn into an advantage if the parent is willing to go that extra mile. The cost of homeschooling can start to come into play when you purchase textbooks and teaching materials, and thus it makes it harder for the family that is doing the home teaching. Further costs come into play when you consider the opportunity cost of a parent staying home, and not bringing in a second income for the family. This could be the big thing that keeps some families from homeschooling, simply because it costs the family a second source of money.

The final disadvantage that I think exists, is the patience that has to come from any parent deciding to homeschool a child. You have to know ahead of time that there will be a lot of frustration coming from the student when you are covering hard subjects, and that when they get flustered, you can't allow yourself to do the same. It is important that you are able to separate at times the role of parent and teacher, because you will have to be there for your child in a different manner in times like these. You also can't take it out on yourself if a subject is slightly more difficult to teach than the next one. Textbooks are out there which have been designed to teach straight from them, and acquiring them can remove some of the stigma from difficult subjects like Science or Math. The key is that you have to know that you will be teaching year-round, and that it really is going to be a full-time job. That means that you need to treat it like one, and not like a free pass from getting a public paid job.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I do believe that I could have let this all go if it were not for the last sentence:

‘That means that you need to treat it {teaching your children} like one {a job}, and not like a free pass from getting a public paid job.’

Yes, it was that last sentence that fired me up, and where my graciousness ended. 

 Therefore, I will eviscerate this entire opinion.

First, lack of socialization.   

Really?  AGAIN?  No.  Just NO.  Go read my blog post entitled ‘Socialization, Ridiculous!’ if you missed it or need a refresher on why talking about socialization or even ‘social’ is B.S. for homeschoolers.

But, I am going to say this as a caveat to the socialization conversation.  I would almost guarantee that children who are homeschooled and are not ‘social’, are just ‘shy’, don’t make friends well, are uncomfortable in social situations, etc… would be NO LESS so if in public school.  In fact they would probably be more so.  I’ve seen this first hand – personal experience.  Children who were pulled from public school to homeschool that did not have friends or socialize well in public school and then are the same as homeschoolers.  I’ve also seen children who homeschooled, and were shy, withdrawn, or anti-social, be sent to public school where they are miserable because they are still shy, withdrawn, or anti-social and now they are mocked and bullied.  Some kids are just very square pegs that will never fit into any round hole.  At least with homeschooling there is time for them to develop that certain something they love and then seek out like-minded peers so they can ‘belong’. 

So, let’s get off the socialization issue, shall we?  Again I say, because it’s ridiculous.

Second, resources aren't as fluid as they are in a public/private school setting. The theory is that schools will have better books, and the teachers will have a better education than a parent does, and it could serve as a disadvantage…

After I picked myself up off the floor from the laughing fit I had over the idea that resources aren’t as fluid for homeschoolers, I started laughing again.  Clearly this individual has no real understanding of homeschooling.  Resources for the homeschooler are the most fluid in existence.  It’s not because there is so much available curriculum just for homeschoolers or even because we know how to fully utilize free resources.   Do you know why resources are the most fluid for homeschoolers?  Because LIFE is fluid and that is our ultimate resource for learning.  There is nothing that can’t be found and used as a teaching tool when you homeschool.  Nothing.  Life is our true teacher.  Exploration and curiosity are our curriculum.  True, as children age and enter the upper grade levels, certain ‘courses’ or specific resources will need to be found for children to learn, for example, high school  Chemistry, Algebra II, Graphic Arts, etc.  Those resources are available.  Just one example of fluidity of resources is that in the state I live, Punky will be able to enroll, at age 16, in community college and take dual enrollment classes whereby she will earn the credits needed for high school while also earning college credits.  She can graduate high school with her two-year college degree completed.  How is that for fluid?

As to teachers having a better education than the homeschooling parent.  Hmmm.  I am assuming the author of the above opinion is referring to a ‘better education’ as a college degree – specifically an education degree.  That may be true, at times, certainly.  Not every homeschooling parent has a college degree and certainly the number of homeschooling parents with education degrees is far less.  Isn’t it a shame that folks without college degrees can’t succeed in our country?  If only there was someone to emulate, someone for whom success was achieved through intelligence, hard work, and ambition that had not earned a college degree that we could look to for inspiration.  (Insert sarcasm sign here). 

Here’s where I could begin listing the names of individuals who succeeded without a college degree.  Since there are SO many though, I give you this link instead (and some of these folks aren’t just college drop outs, but high school drop outs!)

http://collegedropoutshalloffame.com/

Enough said on that.

 Third, the patience that has to come from any parent deciding to homeschool a child.

Did this person stop and think about what she was saying before she typed it?  Is this person a parent himself?  Can someone please, please tell me that they knew EXACTLY what each day with their child would be like before having their child?  Are any of us completely prepared for all the challenges we face in raising our child, including the amount of patience that is required? 

My point, lest it was lost in my sarcasm, is this:  If you have the patience to parent your child you have the patience to homeschool your child.  It’s parenting, in a nutshell.  Are there challenges since you are exposing them to subjects, ideas, and concepts that are normally foisted off on government controlled entities known as school?  Sure there are.  If your child was at public school and struggling to learn math, would a good parent not be sitting down with them night after night and doing their damndest to help their child succeed?  Of course they would.  If the child STILL struggled and needed a tutor, would a parent not look into getting their child help?  Of course they would!  Caring parents parent their children through ‘education’ as well as all other ‘lessons’ of life.

At the end of the day homeschooling is total, whole, parenting.  You and your family are taking on the responsibility of raising your child; your whole child, fully.  You are not giving up pieces of your child to ‘the system’ to dictate to them what they must learn, what they must be interested in, how they must behave, or,  worse in my opinion, how they are and are not succeeding.

Homeschooling, I believe, is a natural extension of parenting.  Now, before I get hate mail from public schoolers, let me say, I understand that our cultural and economic climate is such that a two person working household is absolutely necessary for some families – just to survive.  Thank goodness there is public school for your children, as there should be, to (hopefully) help ensure the success of your children for their future.  Yet, I know families who homeschool who made the sacrifice of giving up (or never having) a second income because of their personal priorities.  My husband and I are one of those families.  We decided we wanted a child and when Punky arrived I stopped working – quit my career, actually.  I made a choice.  We learned to live on my husband’s income so I would be the one home with her every day.  After she entered public school the plan was for me to return to work.  Homeschooling became the answer for us and I never returned to the ‘real’ job market and we continue to live on only hubby’s salary.  It can be done.  It was about personal choices and our family’s priorities.

There is no judgment in this statement I make:  Anything is possible and there are always choices.  It is about what your priorities and desires are for you and your family.  If you choose to not give up a career after having children, that is your choice.  It was your choice to make.  If you choose to not homeschool your children, that is your choice.  However, that does not in anyway make the other options that can be chosen wrong.

I wish that folks would stop looking for reasons to poke at homeschoolers just because it’s a choice different than one they would, or did,  make.  That’s all this person’s opinion really is; a way to ‘poke’ at those who make different choices.  S/he is a mouth piece for cultural rhetoric.  I wonder where she learned how to do that?

My full time job is mother.  I can’t control that society only talks a good game about how it’s the most important job one can have.  I can’t control that some don’t understand that for us a natural extension of that job includes educating my child at home. 

I can’t control that there are ignorant ass-wipes in the world who make this statement: 

 The key is that you have to know that you will be teaching year-round, and that it really is going to be a full-time job. That means that you need to treat it like one, and not like a free pass from getting a public paid job.

But what I can say to those folks is this:

There are no disadvantages to homeschooling, there are only challenges; just like life.  Homeschooling is a life-style choice, not a job, but the rewards are greater than any public paid job could ever offer me.  I can say that.....

  and

 'Go coitus yourself.' 

~Mari B.

Complaint or Commentary?

I have a saying, a joke really, that I use frequently.  “I’m not complaining, I’m providing commentary.”  Not everyone gets the joke.  What others see as ‘complaining’ I see as ‘commentary’.  I notice little things (sometimes I notice big things too) and I comment.  My comments are often sarcastic and intended as humor.  Comics do it all the time – it’s usually what stand-up routines are made of; observations offered with a sarcastic overtone. 

It’s amazing to me how you can sit someone down in front of a stage, put a guy or gal on the stage and give them an intro and people will understand what’s coming next is comedy – jokes – whether they are delivered with sarcasm or not.  But, put those same people in their routine lives (or worse put them in front of their computer) and everything becomes something offensive.  People so often don’t get the joke. 

Now, not everyone finds sarcasm funny.  That’s fine.  But to get offended or to believe the person being sarcastic is being serious, I think is more a reflection on the one who is offended rather than the one who was sarcastic.  Most of the time anyway.

I point out little things and poke fun at them (usually with sarcasm); on my facebook page especially.  If you follow me on facebook, I hope you’ll keep that in mind.  My sarcasm is intended and implied and please infer it as such. If I’m ever serious, and there are things I am serious about, trust me – I’ll make sure it’s understood. 

But overall I agree with something that Bill Maher said:

‘When did we get it in our heads that we have the right to never hear anything we don’t like?  ….If it weren’t for throwing conniption fits, we wouldn’t get any exercise.  I have a better idea.  Let’s have an amnesty –

from the left and the right – on every made-up, fake, totally insincere, play-acted hurt, insult, slight, and affront.  Let’s make [one day a year] the National Day of No Outrage.  One day a year when you will not find some tiny thing someone did or said [offensive] and pretend you can barely continue functioning until they apologize.  I don’t want to live in a country where no one ever says anything that offends anyone…”

Providing running commentary, usually of the sarcastic (hopefully humorous) variety, is what I do – part of who I am.  Just remember, you don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status.

~Mari B.

Homeschooling - What Do You Think?

Here's an interesting post by a 

'happy ex-homeschooler'

Any universal truth in her words or  just this young woman's personal experience?

Hi.

I was homeschooled up to halfway through tenth grade. Having never been to school, I had no idea what to expect - although I was quite sure by that point that I would enjoy it more than I had enjoyed homeschooling. Why? Because I was lonely. I was absolutely starved for friendship. I don't live out in the boondocks like the stereotypical recluse homeschooler; I simply had no effective way of connecting. Without consistent exposure to peers, I lacked effective social skills. I was a sad, shy person.

Enrolling in school was the best thing that I ever did. I had the good luck of meeting some excellent friends, and I got into good classes. With some hard work, I've developed passable social skills I am very happy with. A year later, I'm enjoying myself like I never had the chance to before.

I wouldn't recommend homeschooling for any children aged higher than primary school, unless as a parent you feel that you can acclimate them to other children their own age on a regular basis. Those bold letters have a lot of feeling behind them. Many times have I heard proud homeschooling parents brag of their children's busy social lives - conveniently not mentioning that these social opportunities occur infrequently, only in structured circumstances, or with children of widely disparate ages. I'm not saying that children of different ages cannot be mixed. I'm saying that healthy children must be exposed to a peer group, and must have friends - real friends with whom they actually want to associate, not kids their parents have picked out for them to be friends with just because they also happen to be homeschooled.

I pick no fights with homeschooling over its academic prowess. It is obviously usually superior to the public school system. I am speaking out against homeschooling because of its utter social inadequacies. Out of the relatively large group of homeschoolers with whom I am acquainted, I do not know a single one who I would classify as well-balanced or well-socialized. Of course, the parents of these poor kids would have you believe otherwise - but you need only sit in on their homeschool meetings to hear the tales of their unfortunate children being socially rejected when they try to mix with kids from the mainstream education system.

Kids need friends. Before you post irate responses to this thread, please think about your children. Regardless of what they tell you, are they happy? Do they have real friends? Think back to your own childhood. Would you have been happy with the degree of exposure to peers that your children have? You might even ask them if they feel able to join a mainstream activity (sports, after-school clubs) and get along with other kids. You might be surprised.

-A happy ex-homeschoooler

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OR

 

So, what do you think?

 

~Mari B.

Why I Find Church More Than Inapproprite

My faith is my own.  It has no label. 

We don't go to church, temple, or mosque.  We don't 'do' organized religion. I normally don't make grand statements against other folks' religious choices and while I will make comments about particular religions, I respect people's right to have whatever faith they desire.  After I was sent these though, I thought, 'Here's 12 reasons I don't participate."  And they are 12 reasons why Christianity can be dangerous to the world.   

Some are inappropriate or rude.  Others are offensive and even dangerous.  The congregants of these religious establishments should be ashamed.

Here are 12 reasons you won't find me participating in the Christian organized religious movement:

Socialization? Everybody Receives A Failing Grade

 I ventured outside of my little corner and fell smack into the real world, again.  This world is apparently made up of children who not only run amok (amok, amok, amok) but have been placed under the care of an adult (be they parent or teacher) who sees no problem with allowing children to run amok (amok, amok, amok). 

{Sigh}  I should stay home more.

First, I’ll be totally honest.  I have what most would consider ‘high’ standards for public behavior.  As inappropriate as I am, in public venues, I revert to ‘old school’ manners as if my Depression Era-raised mother were standing in the room with me.  *I* don’t think my standards are very high.  To be more accurate, I don’t think my standards have changed over the last 40 years (yes, by age five I had developed a good sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ behaviors while in public).  I think that society has moved further and further away from the standards of my childhood.  Ergo, I’m not being inappropriate, just old-fashioned!

Here are the highlights of the experiences that had my eye twitching (which is what happens when shit happens that I find extremely annoying, yet have no control over).

• While waiting in line at the event, children were permitted by parents or teachers to run amok: hanging onto displays, rattling closed doors, and attempting to cut in line ahead of others.
• Adults, with children in tow, arrived en masse late to the performance.
• Once the event started, children were permitted to engage in activities that were distracting to the rest of the audience.
• Children coughed, hacked, and sneezed their way through the event with open mouths and uncovered noses – all while parents sat next to them.
• One adult sat through the entire production alternating between picking his nose and wiping his found treasure on his jeans or the seat.
• While exiting the event and trying to keep all our children together, adults would cut in front of our children in their haste to exit and with no concern for safety.
• During the tour, children were permitted, by their caretakers, to manhandle or abuse displays that were meant to be experienced as well as selfishly demand other children to turn over whatever it was they wanted to try.

Overall I have noticed a general lack of courtesy among a large portion of children today.  I do believe they no longer feel they are but a small part of the world, instead they believe that the whole world revolves around them.  I can only ascertain that their parents are encouraging this delusional idea.  We are a very ‘child-centered’ society.  That’s not an entirely bad thing, they are our future after all; but I can’t help but think we’re going about it the wrong way.  Every child is special?  Yes, every child is special to someone, true; but a more accurate description would be every child is unique.  Ergo, every child has the *potential* to offer something unique to our world.  That isn’t going to come to fruition though if the children are being raised to believe that the world owes them everything.

Children are praised, excessively, for doing was is (or should be) expected of them in order to function in society instead of being taught to do what is right for the sake of doing what is right.  Basically, more and more children are allowed to run amok, acting as if they are the only important folks on this planet.  It is going to come back to bite us in the ass.  Recent studies have indicated that a larger and larger percentage of college students are showing higher and higher levels of narcissism and lower and lower levels of empathy.  Is it just me, or can anyone else hear the fiddle playing?

Let me be clear.  The problem is *not* that children will misbehave or make mistakes.  It's not that there is anything inherently wrong with children acting up or acting out.  Children DO these things as a normal part of testing boundaries, looking for limits, learning their world.  The real problem is the parents, raising these children, who, for whatever reason, are not willing or capable of setting clear boundaries and limits for their children; those who stand by and do nothing of any real consequence as their children run amok.  There is no societal standard anymore for appropriate public behavior.  If one adult were to correct a child (even if there's danger) that is a stranger, parents become outraged.  

When I was a kid, if I got caught doing something wrong at school (which never happened, of course) I caught hell from the teacher, the principal, and then my folks.  If I got busted in our neighborhood for inappropriate conduct, I caught heck from the neighbor and then my folks.  There are teenagers today roaming my neighborhood (which I understand, I was once young - believe it or not) that will stare you down as they stand in the middle of the road while you are waiting to drive by; or they'll flick their cigarettes at you as they hang off the street signs.  My ass would have been BEAT for this; twice if it had been a neighbor who took me home and told on me!!

I don't know why it is the way it is today.  I no longer care why.  As a society as a whole, public schooled or home schooled, we are receiving a failing mark for the subject of socialization!  There's a saying that goes something like, "Before you criticize today's youth, take a look at the generation who is raising them.'   Well, I have - every time I step outside of my little world.  Each and every time all I can think is, “I’ve seen the village and I don’t want it raising my child.”  I don’t care how inappropriate that makes me. 

And yes, there are members of the village who are homeschoolers.

~Mari B.

Kids Are Funny

What a different version of this game than I remember from when I was a kid?

Opps!

Was that inappropriate? 

I Love Fall.....It's My Favorite Season

Here are just a couple of reasons.................

~Mari B.

Life Lesson Learned

I’ve often said that what it means to ‘grow up’ is reconciling the life you have with the life you thought you’d have……...

Everyone comes into our lives for a reason. Some people are meant to be with you for a long time and others for just a short period of time.  Every one of them has something to teach us.  Some people enter our lives for the purpose of teaching us painful lessons.  Some do this through kindness, love, or acceptance.  Others will do it through pettiness, meanness, betrayal, or deceit.  Either way, the lessons need to be learned.   

Those people who came into your life for a brief time and brought pettiness, meanness, betrayal, indifference, hurt, or dishonesty have their own lessons to learn, yes, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be a tool for your own learning.  The trick is that once the lesson is learned; only hold on to those people who taught you through kindness, love, or acceptance.  The others are the ones you let go; they served their purpose, but their time in your life should be over.  Let them go in peace so you will be at peace in your heart, at peace with what you’ve learned, and at peace with who you are. 

It is the loved ones that have known us the longest and the deepest that understand how far we’ve come.  New folks only know you as you are now, and judge you from that perspective.  They forget that you, just as they, are an evolving human being who very well may have already grown leaps and bounds.  Only you truly know how far you’ve come or how far you need to go.  Judge yourself by your own yardstick, not your neighbors.  Recognize the mistake you just made, analyze how to correct it, put that plan into action, and then pat yourself on the back for a moment for how far you’ve come and that you still have the strength to move forward. 

~Mari B.

Inappropriate Dad of the Year

I LOVE this Dad!

He has mad parenting skills, if you ask me!!

~Mari B.

Oh How This Made Me Laugh...

OUTLOUD!

For several minutes!!

I'm warning you...........it has offensive language

Proceed at your own risk

(Trust me, it's worth it though.....it it He stare I Kill!)

Happy Anniversary!

I feel like a teenager!  You know how you celebrated every week or month marking your relationship?  Yeah, well......I'm doing it right now with my blog!  I've hit my two month mark for having this blog!! 

I want to tell all my followers and fans...................

While it's true that I blog for me....it really is way more fun knowing that somewhere out there is someone(s) who may enjoy reading my pithy little posts!!  

Thank you for being that someone!!

10 Things Said to Me as a Homeschooling Parent...

That I’d Rather Not Hear…..

All homeschoolers, everywhere, have experienced the person who makes a comment or asks a question that we find annoying.  I can only imagine what the real pioneers of homeschooling had to put up with!  This is my list of ten things, said in the form of a question or in the form of a statement, that are meant to demean or insult.  Of course, my list may be a little different because I’m The Inappropriate Homeschooler! 

Either way, I’d rather not have to deal with it, but such is life.  If someone is asking with sincere interest (not concern, but interest), I provide honest, straight answers – no matter how ridiculous I think the question is.  But, yes, I do give smart ass answers, when the person asking is clearly doing so just for the sake of being rude, demeaning, or putting me (or worse, Punky) on the spot.  The way I see it, an inappropriate question deserves an inappropriate answer!  So here’s the list along with my ‘common’ responses.

The first is the most obvious….

1)  What about socialization?

I’m not going to go into this again too deeply…..I already blogged about it.  I’ll just say my standard answer is:

“She’s very social, which is one thing and she is being socialized, which is something entirely different, by us, her parents, because we’ve seen the village and we don’t want it raising our child.”

2)  Don’t you worry that she is too isolated, being an only child? 

“Since we let her out of her cage twice a day to roam the streets, we don’t worry too much about that.”

(Usually followed by):

3)  Does she have friends?

“Not at all.  No one.  But, she has me, what more does she need?”

4)  Is she gifted (or) special needs?

“No, she’s average; the first of her kind, actually, to be homeschooled.  We are pioneers.”

5)  Do you worry about her being on grade level?

“Nope, the way I see it, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.  Hope to see your kids at the finish line!”

6)   You homeschool?  But you’re not religious!

“I know!  It’s weird, right?  But that’s what the voices told me to do.”

7)  I’m surprised you would homeschool; I know how much you value education.

“You clearly misunderstood me.  I value learning.  That is why we homeschool, so learning will actually happen.”

8)  I don’t know how you can be with your child all day long, all the time.  That would drive me nuts!

This one is where I just stare at them with a partial hopeful, partial sad look waiting for them to hear what they just said to me.  If the light never comes on I merely shrug and walk away.

9) So what do you do all day?

“Oh, it’s so easy.  It’s just like being a housewife.  You sit around in your PJs, eating Bon-Bons, and watching Oprah – except, well you know, my kid does it with me now.”

10)  The piece de la resistance is when they TURN TO PUNKY and begin to question her as if she’s entered a game show contest.

 Have you studied the Civil War yet?

Have you learned division?

Do you know the Presidents?

Can you name elements from the Periodic Table?

Can you recite your Multiplication Facts?

Can you spell Mississippi?

Etc…

I step in before Punky has the chance to form an answer!

My statement to the person that does this to her is this:

“Sorry, Punky only performs on the last Friday of the month when there’s a blue moon and tickets are usually $20 per person”.

So, there you have it!  My list of 10.  I’m sure every homeschooling parent has their list.  Some of our items might be the same, some would certainly be different.

If you like any of my responses, and you feel like being inappropriate, feel free to use them as your own!

~Mari B.